How do you feel about yourself?
Do you think you have a healthy feeling of self-worth?
Most overweight women I know have rather a lot to complain about themselves, their body and weight. They just never feel ‘good enough’. They criticize their body, even condemn it. On top of that, they think that having a good sense of self-worth is not high on their priority list, or even worse, they completely ignore that part of their being.
Feeling worthy determines how you think and act, which ultimately influences any outcome of your life, be it professionally, in your relationships, your finances, your health, and of course your weight.
Women who don’t have a healthy feeling of their self-worth just can’t keep up with any kind of health and weight loss program. Their deep conviction is that they are not worthy to be healthy, beautiful, slim and attractive. And that is such a crucial point that I just have to talk about this topic, whether you like it or not.
If you don’t have a strong sense of self-worth, you will likely fail with any kind of weight loss method.
As a matter of fact, it would be a real miracle if you could work successfully through any weight loss program without a healthy feeling of self-worth.
Did you ever ask yourself what self-worth really is?
Is your self-worth determined by how much money you have in your bank account or how much you are worth to the market place?
Is it about how you feel about yourself?
Is it about loving yourself unconditionally?
No. Yes. And Yes. But that’s not all.
The true definition of self-worth is rather intrinsic and internal than external.
Your self-worth has nothing to do with your current weight. It has little to do how successful you are in your job or business. Your self-worth is not determined by the number on your bank account or how many things you own. You could be the richest woman in the world and still be unhappy. You can see that very well in really rich women who need to have the most expensive handbag, wear jewelry in the multi-million dollar range around their necks, and get a new plastic surgery once a year.
If you want to understand what real self-worth is not, watch one of the Real Housewives series. That is really disgusting. These women are the best examples of being shallow and lack any sense of real self-worth. Women with a low feeling of self-worth do not take care well of themselves, eat low-quality food, do not exercise, they often have two or three jobs just to make ends meet or to keep up with the Joneses. And you also have the other group of women with little self-worth who are trying to hide the shallowness behind tons of make-up, the most expensive cloths, an expensive car, an ultra-rich husband and a house large enough to host their big egos.
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On the other hand you can have a mother of twelve children who deeply cares for them and her neighbors, who lives by high moral standards, who is loving, caring, gentle, friendly and cleans other people’s houses with great love and gusto for little money. That woman has much higher self-worth because she has a lot to give to her family as well as to the community. She has no PHD, but she knows how to love and to serve, and she does that within her personal capabilities and by using her talents.
Real self-worth never has something to do with external factors. It comes from a love to life, from gratitude towards life, from a deep rooted love regardless of their imperfections or shortcomings, and from simply knowing that we are a child of God. No matter what we have to give, giving and serving inevitably brings that feeling of self-worth, no matter how humble that giving and serving is.
Every person has a lot to offer regardless of their education. You can’t compete in terms of self-worth. You can only compete in terms of how much of yourself you are giving to the world. Women with a high sense of self-worth do not base their own value on comparisons. They understand that their value is within themselves naturally and given with birth.
And please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about self-delusion, self-centeredness or narcissism. As a matter of fact, people with a healthy feeling of self-worth are by nature humble beings who treat others with the same respect treat themselves. Regardless of their religion, and whether or not they are aware of, deep inside they feel that they are a divine being. They just see everybody as a valuable person, regardless of their upbringings, status, profession or the number on their bank account.
People with a low self-worth break down when they lose the job, go broke, lose friends, lose a spouse, lose their status, grow old or experience any kind of loss. They feel less worthy because they measure their self-worth on external things, situations and on others.
Real self-worth is based on a feeling of being loved by others or a deity as well as by yourself.
On the other hand, a lack of self-worth leads to anxiety, a lack of motivation to take care of themselves, a lack of motivation to accomplish more and become a better version of themselves. A lack of self-worth can even lead to addiction, depression, or suicide. And a lack of self-worth definitely leads to relationship problems. On top of that it makes you vulnerable to being hurt by others.
A lack of self-worth leads to self-sabotage when you’re going on the next diet or weight loss program…because deep within you feel that you’re not worth looking good.
A person with a healthy feeling of being worthy is ready to take on bigger tasks and is willing to solve bigger problems than someone with a love self-worth who don’t even try in fear of failing.
People with a healthy understanding of their self-worth know that they are not perfect, they know their mistakes, their failings, yet they love themselves nonetheless. They understand that failing does not determine their self-worth a bit. They understand that results are mostly outside of our total control, yet they give their best nevertheless because they know that all we can do is giving our best.
Do you begin to understand why losing weight for good with a low feeling of self-worth is close to impossible?
With a low feeling of self-worth you tend to go for the quick-fixes because you don’t trust yourself and your inner strength and power. You follow the beaten path a dozen times even after you realized that diets don’t work…when you follow the masses and fail, then you at least are not alone with the failing. You try again because X said this about a particular diet. You’d rather follow the stream of the millions of other failures than trusting your gut feeling and trying something new.
For example, when people learn about the dangers of microwave ovens they always say, “Somehow I always had the feeling that they’re not good, but everybody else had them and the newspapers keep telling us they were safe. So I thought that the government would have told us that they are a health threat.” So instead of trusting their gut feeling, they followed the masses and put their families and themselves in serious health danger.
Now let’s talk about how to improve self-worth.
First of all, being a spiritual person who understands that we are all divine beings by nature and thus perfect in God’s eyes find it significantly easier to gain a healthy feeling of self-worth without becoming arrogant.
But just knowing that God loves you is not enough. You have to learn to unconditionally love yourself regardless of your current weight or shape. If you can’t love yourself now, start with being grateful about your body.
Then keeping your word towards yourself is the next important step. Whenever you decide to do something, do it no matter the weather or the circumstances. Just keep your word, even you gave it to yourself and although no one else knows. YOU know. Not keeping your word towards yourself lessens your integrity and thus your self-worth.
If you have experienced lack of love, conditional love, setbacks, and restrictions earlier in your life, then it’s certainly easier for you to stay in that state of low self-worth. But that’s not the solution. You don’t need others to tell you what a great person you are. You don’t need others to love you so that you can love yourself. Simply start by treating yourself well. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Exercise. Do something good for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time. Pat your shoulders each time you have accomplished something or made another person happy. Be generous with your smiles when meeting others. Be of service. Make this world a better place no matter how humble the beginnings.
Stay away from toxic people. Become your own best friend. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.
Cut off the negative self-talk and criticizing. Stop weighing. Stop beating yourself up! Talk nicely and gently about yourself. Always choose the best when it comes to your health and weight loss.
Change the voice in your head and begin to accept, respect and even love yourself for who you are right now and what you are capable of. And then watch how you will evolve miraculously.
If you had a real tough upbringing where you were beaten up or even punched, you might want to consider signing up for therapy. You can choose any local therapist or hire me if you want to go beyond therapy and go through a real life transformation.
Love yourself. You’re worth it! And start losing weight…
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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
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Recently I stumbled on the following story which I find very inspirational. When I read it, I instantly had to think of you. So I decided to share that story with you today. 
For years I am trying to convince my readers and clients to practice appreciation toward their body, because appreciation can really heal many wounds, especially the wounds of the soul. I do get how hard it is to appreciate a body which is overweight or even obese, a body you don’t like. But sometimes it just takes a small step beyond the ordinary, a step into the unknown, an uncomfortable step, even a step that might seem weird at the beginning to make new and desired experiences and see better results. 
Write a list of everything you can be thankful for to your body and everything you like about it. Then keep writing that list for seven days minimum. Every morning after waking up and every evening before going to sleep you thank your body for everything it is doing for you. Try to be serious. Remember, you have plenty of reasons to be genuinely thankful for to your body. 
On the very first coaching call she brought up all her problems at once and it was a real challenge to dig through the clutter and to choose the most pressing issue to begin with. She had pretty much all the problems you can have: deep depression; financially broke; unemployed; she had no idea what kind of job she wanted – all she knew was that she no longer wanted to work as a nurse; she had no more energy left and has gained a lot of weight (close to being obese); a daily almost crippling head ache; in a relationship she was deeply unhappy with; having been abused by her father; an extremely dominant mother who thought that Giselle was not capable of accomplishing anything and thus made all the decisions for her and even took over the job of raising her child.
After some job interviews she realized that she no longer wanted a job and put an add in the newspaper offering her service as a caretaker for elderly people. Within only a few days she got two great engagements and now she is her own boss, deciding how much her work is worth and making the price. Now she earns more money than she has ever earned before as a nurse and has not to work any night shifts anymore. 
She began to be more careful about when and how much she would allow her bossy sister and girlfriends into her life and what she would tolerate from them. She learned to say ‘No’. For the first time in her life she could set boundaries and clearly say what is tolerable and what is not. 
Two weeks ago she met a lovely man who is 10 years younger than Giselle – the kind of man she always wanted and was certain he would not exist. They both fell in love with each other and both feel that the other one is just the “one”, the partner they have always been looking for and dreamed of but never found before. Very quickly they realized that everything fits. Beside the fastly growing love, they have many common interests, he treats her with the respect she always dreamed of and deserves, and they have the best sex life ever. They both feel that they have arrived. 
In Giselle’s case, I did nothing else but helping her to transform her personal root causes which had led to weight gain. We never did anything regarding her weight at all. She always loved cooking and she is still enjoying it and has no food restrictions except those foods she is allergic to. What we did do for the sake of her health is eliminating a few bad habits. 
Root causes can be found on the physical level (e.g. food intolerances, diabetes, toxic overload, etc.), the emotional level (how you emotionally respond to circumstances and the world around you), the mental level (your mindset, your way of thinking, what you say, your belief system), the psychological level (your memories, your subconscious mind, past experiences, unhealthy boundaries, etc.), and even on the spiritual level (karma, stuck energy, etc.). They can be experienced in relationships with the opposite sex and the family, in your professional life, in your health or the lack of it, and whether or not your life is interesting, fulfilling and well balanced or not. 
According to scientists, the worst of all bad habits – besides smoking – is a sedentary lifestyle. Frankly, I have no doubt that sitting all day is very unhealthy. You don’t have to be a physician to understand what sitting all day can do to our body. But what are the alternatives when you have an office job? There are a few ways you can do about that:
Although eating a good amount of protein is important for weight loss, many people eat far too much meat. The biggest problem is the growth hormone IGF-1 farmers use to raise their animals for bigger profits. That substance can promote the growth of cancer cells.
Unfortunately it gets worse regarding cooking. The by far worst and most health hazard habit is using microwave ovens. And it doesn’t matter whether you just defrost some frozen food or heat the food in the oven. First of all, although the manufacturers will tell you, that their ovens don’t leak, they do. Secondly, as soon as you switch on the oven, the electromagnetic radiation goes up dramatically – in other words, they radiate a lot. Thirdly, microwaves alter the DNA in your food and thus your body does not recognize food as such but as toxins. Within only three minutes of eating something microwaved, your blood tests positive for cancer. I know scientists who call microwave ovens “The kiss of death”.
Using bad oils to cook is another health threat. For several years now health experts are warning from using the wrong oils. Most of the time these are cheap ones. When heated, they release compounds that are found in cigarette smoke, such as aldehydes and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons.
Many Americans are insanely sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation leads to symptoms like high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, and obesity. Studies show that poor sleep or sleep deprivation can speed up the growth of tumors.
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Later we form habits by making daily poor decisions, mostly in an attempt to stay in our comfort zone and out of laziness. Most of the time these are the poor habits…those habits, which contribute to poor health and weight gain.
Therefore, the bad habit of being overweight is not only in the eating, drinking and exercising, but also in the thinking, behaving, and feeling. For example, one of my former participants used to enter the gate to her yard side-wise even long after she had lost all her excess weight with WW. That, of course, created a new reality of gaining weight back in order to fit into that old habit of entering the gate side-wise. Only once she realized how she had been creating that reality of being obese through her behavior and by changing that she began to get lasting results. 
Then they go on the next fad diet, take expensive weight loss products or get a gastric surgery done which create tremendous health problems and make matters worse in any regard. And at the end they gain that quickly lost weight back because it was not a sustainable method. Yes, they did have quick success…but at what cost? 
If you have thought so far that you’re just a victim of your ancestors’ DNA, this is now good news for you. It is worth to eat healthy, it is worth to sleep enough, it is worth to exercise regularly, it does matter who our friends are. Therefore, our health, weight, and pretty much our entire life is very much in our own hands.
It is my hope that you begin to realize how powerful habit change can be, how much easier weight loss can become and how much better your overall life can be.
Our body always follows the rules of nature and is most of the time smarter than the person sitting inside of the body. But once we begin to understand the nature of our bodies, how it works, what it needs to accomplish, and how we can rather support our body instead of trying to force something onto it, we become a team and changes will be much easier and more effective. Then you will be the smart leader and your brain/body will become your enthusiastic partner supporting you in your weight loss goals.
Sоmе оf these habits are simply about kеерing our body funсtiоning рrореrlу but a lоt оf habits have to dо with the way wе do things, move, behave, react to people, situations and circumstances; the way we think and perceive our environment. Unlеѕѕ we livе in a ѕоlitаrу wоrld with no intеrасtiоn with thе rеѕt оf thе wоrld оr thе people thеrеin, wе will аlwауѕ bе соnfrоntеd with ѕituаtiоnѕ where wе must mаkе сhоiсеѕ, and these choices often happen within a split second by bypassing our conscious mind. Sоmе are simple, ѕоmе are more соmрlеx like whаt tо еаt оr what not tо еаt, when to exercise and when to relax. Many оf them require nо thought though since our brain is already pre-programmed tо асt in a helpful wау in our body’s terms. We hаvе done something wеll or inappropriately in thе past and our brain hаѕ received fееdbасk (it wеnt wеll, do thаt аgаin; аltеrnаtivеlу thаt wаѕ rubbish, do ѕоmеthing differently). Cоnѕеԛuеntlу the unconscious part of our brain iѕ full of wауѕ of dеаling with situations that wе thоughtlеѕѕlу еmрlоу to make our lives easier.
You just can’t conquer habit with willpower. The only way to optimally dealing with habit is by understanding the way our subconscious mind works and using it’s own way of forming new habits. By the way, strong willpower is a habit as well. Your ways of aproaching weight loss, your ways of pursuing a goal, your mindset, your motivation (or the lack of it), these are all habits as well and can – need to – be trained.
