We are still in the first half of the month of January, and I have already seen so much crap so-called “experts” and coaches recommend to their readers regarding achieving their New Year’s resolutions that I have to say, “Enough is enough! Stop wasting my time.”
These days every wimp and every henpecked jerk can raise their voice and utter their BS on the internet (none of their friends ever wanted to hear) and have their 2 minutes of fame.
No wonder you are confused. No wonder you don’t have the endurance to move past January. No wonder you can’t achieve your resolutions.
The stupidest recommendation I have heard so far is not to focus on the goal but on the obstacles that might get in your way and solve those. Deer me! Since statements like that come from “respected” coaches, thousands of people get on the wrong patch each and every year (paying thousands of dollars), and when they don’t succeed (what they can’t with such tactic), they tend to blame themselves for failing. And once again they feel a little bit smaller, a little bit less significant, a little bit more like a big failure.
And one day there will come the time when they will just give up because they are exhausted and have lost all the hope and faith in themselves. They have just given up. New Year’s resolutions require a special way of achievement. It’s more than just about do A to achieve B, or even worse, simply stop doing XYZ or do ABC. With that approach, your subconscious will always pull the breaks. What is required is a deep understanding of the human nature.
What is required to achieve your New Year’s resolutions is a deep understanding of the human nature.
You know, what puzzles me the most is that people just don’t seem to understand how New Year’s resolutions are done the right way. We have access to technologies my parents couldn’t even imagine that something like that would ever exist only a few years later. Humanity has accomplished such great things, but we seem not to be able to understand our human nature enough to achieve a few simple goals.
As a matter of fact, most people still don’t really understand their own psychology. That would be an interesting world to discover. But, of course it’s more lucrative to build rockets to fly to Mars and make billions with 5G satellites to ‘cook’ the planet with microwaves from above and call that progress than to look on the inside and become a better version of oneself.
So let me share a few principles of how to achieve your New Year’s resolutions this year PLUS lose your extra weight for good:
- First and foremost, know exactly what you want to achieve and have a strong focus on your final weight goal.
- Then take care of your poor habits because they are the biggest saboteurs – WHILE keeping your focus on the goal. I have created a 90-day habit transformation program for that purpose because it’s that important for weight loss success. People go about that the wrong way year after year and keep failing year after year wondering why. Check it out here: https://www.sheslimeasy.com/habit-transformation-ever-webinar9rsp8kyw, or go directly to the registration page at https://www.sheslimeasy.com/she_slim_easy_oto.
- Next, change your environment. Your environment has been created based on your poor habits in the past. So you want to turn it into an environment of a person who can easily achieve her weight loss goals.
- Now change your strategy. Obviously, what you have done in the past didn’t work or worked only to a point. If you have the wrong or an incomplete strategy, it’s not going to work. A sensible strategy must address all aspects of your weight situation. In other words, it must address your body, your emotions, your mind, and your psychology. And it must include a way to transform the root causes. That’s a solid weight loss strategy which will work.
************************************************************
************************************************************
- Then, change your story. Most likely, your story has been so far, “I just can’t lose weight.” “Even if I look at a dish of spaghetti, I’m gaining weight.” “I’m a big fat failure.” “Why can’t I lose my extra weight for good just like anybody else?” “I look like a Michelin man in those jeans.” “Everybody in my family is overweight, so it’s in my genes.” “I’ve always had a strong bone structure.” You get the idea. Your story has to be changed before you can achieve your goal.
- Join a group of like-minded women who have the same goal, who can cheer you up and who will hold you accountable. A group of women who are happy with you each time you achieve a milestone and who applaud you. Women who give you honest feedback and who realize your blind spots and help you to see and address them and who you can help likewise. Women with the same body-mind-spirit approach like yours. If you would like to join such a group, here is a group on Facebook with exactly that purpose: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss.
- If things get really tough (there will always come such a moment), hire a coach who can see those root causes you can’t see and help you eliminate or transform them right away. Book a free qualification call at https://calendly.com/sheslimforever/15min (these calls are for you and me to find out whether we’d be a good match for one-on-one coaching and they’re free.)
And here is a very special tip, something I recently stumbled upon.
When I’m tired, I find it sometimes hard to motivate myself to do the work that needs to be done. So one day about two weeks ago I thought, you know what, I’m not going to do that work because I should, ought or must do it. I do it out of love for myself. Not only could I work for 8 hours straight without tiredness that day; the next day I received a message from an editor-in-chief of a magazine telling me that an angel had sent me and that she would like to publish one of my articles in her magazine. Now, that was a first. And on top of that, suddenly the open rates of my emails doubled and tripled.
That moment I realized what a strong power love really is and that it reaches far beyond our own little universe. Not only did I benefit but also the world around me.
So, instead of giving up on your New Year’s resolutions because it’s too hard, too time consuming, too this and too that, just say to yourself that you’re not going to do it because you should, ought or must do it…for whatever reason…but out of love for yourself. And then let’s see what miracles are going to happen to you. Please post them below so that I can be happy with and for you and join you in your celebration.
“A breakthrough is a moment in time where suddenly the impossible becomes possible. You see your circumstances in a new way and everything changes.” –Tony Robbins
That’s exactly what will happen. The formerly ‘impossible’ suddenly not only becomes possible but reality. At that point you will kick yourself that you haven’t realized that earlier. But don’t be harsh on yourself. Each person has her time to realize the truth. If you have reached that point now, congratulations and welcome to my world. If it’s not your time now, then maybe we’ll see us again this time next year.
Happy slimming :-).
P.S. Post your experiences, your struggles, your successes and your questions below.
**********
Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group.
You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress.
I can’t count how many examples of negative self-talk I have heard from women in my 38 years of being a weight loss coach. Many of the things women tell themselves made me even cry. And these were all wonderful, lovely and loveable women. Yet they all found the worst names for themselves….worse names than they would ever call a dog, let alone somebody else.
These negative self-talks are so common among overweight women, yet they are far from being helpful. That way we can’t build a good relationship with our body and promote lasting weight loss. In order to lose extra weight for good, you need to be in a good relationship with your body to get its full collaboration. How would you like if somebody called you the worst names and then expected you to help them do something for them? Your healthy reaction would be to respond, “Since you can’t be friendly to me, why would I waste any time and energy helping you?” 
Recently, there have some fat-burning supplements hit the market with big claims and promises. Because people often ask me what I think about these products, I tried several for myself. Besides, I knew what I had to look for and how to protect my health. In this article I want to share with you my experiences and conclusions.
What would the alternative be? When you lose weight through leading a healthy lifestyle, your body burns a little bit fat, deals with the released acid and toxins small enough so that your system can really deal with without being jeopardized. So it’s burning fat… excreting the released toxins…burning fat…excreting the released toxins…burning fat, etc. On the other hand, if you use a fat-burning supplement, the process is burning fat…burning fat…burning fat…burning fat, and liver and kidneys have no chance to deal with all these newly released toxins. Your system is not prepared to deal with such a sudden load of acid and toxins at once. The consequences are a damage of some organs (liver damage, kidney damage, skin cancer, etc.) and eventually early death. Although then you would not have to worry about your weight anymore, I assume that this is not an option for you.
By transforming the root causes, they also automatically improve their overall health, their social life, their love and sex life, their professional success, their finances, and their relationships. Many of my former clients have even deepened their spiritual life. These are all very positive and extremely powerful ‘side effects’ you can’t get from a diet, a supplement or a gastric surgery.
Emotional eating is an issue many overweight women are struggling with. The problem is that they don’t understand the real cause behind emotional eating and thus try to tame the beast with willpower.
When I asked her what the reason for our obesity epidemic in the Western world might be despite of the fact that we have so much food to choose from, she said, “There is definitely something wrong in the system and there are a lot of factors that contribute to that. I think the whole world is feeling so much stress. People who work in corporate jobs are functioning with so much pressure and so much uncertainty. People are so overwhelmed with their lives; and overcommitted. There are so many demands and responsibilities and less support, and less social interaction; which is one of the keys to happiness. Stress is really equivalent to what smoking was in the 50’s. It’s killing us. One of our favorite responses is to overeat and I think that people just don’t make time for themselves and they just don’t pay attention. There is a lot of unconscious eating going on until something happens and then you say: Okay, I’ve got to do something about it.”
Stress causes emotion, tension, fatigue and a lot more…all reasons that are driving us to the refrigerator. A lot of times you don’t even realize what’s happening there and why you are looking for food.
Can you believe it? There are only five more weeks left to the end of this year. This is the time when people begin to think about their goals they wanted to achieve this year but didn’t. Millions of women are beginning to realize that, once again, they did not achieve their weight loss goal. And once again they blame themselves.
Just think about, seen in that light, how much sense does any tactical advice “Do A to get B” make? It’s like the follower who tried to convince me that for everybody the first step had to be a liver cleanse. But what if your root cause is a psychological one? What if one of your causes is a hormonal problem? What if it’s a lack of sleep? Yes, cleansing the liver is always a good idea early in the process, but it’s not the only tactic and it’s certainly not for every woman to use it as a first step. This is just an example. You can take every recommendation regarding weight loss you have ever heard and use that same logic.
So what can you do right now?
As soon as you come to the point where you are ready to leave the diet path and make new and better experiences, I’m here for you and I can’t wait to work with you. I promise this is going to be an exciting journey and you will love it.
“I followed the low fat, low cholesterol hypothesis and I got rid of all the bad cholesterol in my diet. You wouldn’t know it that my body got heavier and my blood pressure went higher, my blood sugar higher HDL/good cholesterol went lower. Basically I made all my conditions worse by following the accepted dietary guidelines, which are still the accepted dietary guidelines. It’s interesting too because when I failed the low fat, low cholesterol diet I put myself on medication and I wasn’t understanding at that time the correct way to eat. So I put myself on the blood pressure medication, I put myself on the cholesterol lowering medication and I actually put myself on the medications until I started to understand the correct way to eat. That understanding was a big ‘eEureka!’ moment in my life when I understood that low fat, low cholesterol eating styles are actually harmful and deadly. I switched away what I was eating, I started eating more fat cholesterol, and wouldn’t you know it, I blew up 70+ pounds, came off my mediactions and the rest is history. Armed with that knowledge, I started bringing that into my practice; telling my patients the correct way to eat. Now, 16 years from that I literally have thousands upon thousands of patients eating the correct way with wonderful, miraculous and marvelous results.”
“Wherever that sugar molecule comes from, the cells are going to create deadly cholesterol and fat making us heavier and create a host of a lot other deadly problems. So I like to tell my patients, and I like them to repeat this little mantra, I say repeat after me ’Carbohydrates are broken down into sugars and sugars create cholesterol and fat.’ And I also say that ‘carbohydrates are carbohydrates are carbohydrates’ meaning, it doesn’t matter if it comes from whole grains or multi grains or seven grains or whole wheat pasta or brown rice. The end result is overabundant sugar molecules and you are going to make cholesterol and fat from that.”
How do you feel about yourself?
People with a low self-worth break down when they lose the job, go broke, lose friends, lose a spouse, lose their status, grow old or experience any kind of loss. They feel less worthy because they measure their self-worth on external things, situations and on others.
If you have experienced lack of love, conditional love, setbacks, and restrictions earlier in your life, then it’s certainly easier for you to stay in that state of low self-worth. But that’s not the solution. You don’t need others to tell you what a great person you are. You don’t need others to love you so that you can love yourself. Simply start by treating yourself well. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Exercise. Do something good for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time. Pat your shoulders each time you have accomplished something or made another person happy. Be generous with your smiles when meeting others. Be of service. Make this world a better place no matter how humble the beginnings.
Recently I stumbled on the following story which I find very inspirational. When I read it, I instantly had to think of you. So I decided to share that story with you today. 
For years I am trying to convince my readers and clients to practice appreciation toward their body, because appreciation can really heal many wounds, especially the wounds of the soul. I do get how hard it is to appreciate a body which is overweight or even obese, a body you don’t like. But sometimes it just takes a small step beyond the ordinary, a step into the unknown, an uncomfortable step, even a step that might seem weird at the beginning to make new and desired experiences and see better results. 
Write a list of everything you can be thankful for to your body and everything you like about it. Then keep writing that list for seven days minimum. Every morning after waking up and every evening before going to sleep you thank your body for everything it is doing for you. Try to be serious. Remember, you have plenty of reasons to be genuinely thankful for to your body. 
