Recently, a young man, whose parents were coaching clients of mine 30 years ago, contacted me on Facebook. He told me that what his parents had learned from me was often a subject at their table and that my words had led his parents through many difficult life situations. I hear this increasingly even from clients I haven’t seen in 10, 20 or 30 years, which made me think.
My coaching “career” started as a child when adults told me their most personal and private problems and sorrows. In the end, they were often shocked when they realized how much they had told a child of only 10. Their explanation was always that I was such a good listener.
My official coaching career started in 1978 after I realized that being a teacher for children was not my life purpose, but I did enjoy being a teacher for adults (happy parents = happy children). Yet, I never really thought that my work was important; helpful, yes, but not important, like having food or earning money. I had no idea how wrong I was. My clients came for a few sessions, solved their problems or achieved their goals and then I never saw them again. That was the reason why I began to believe that my work was only helpful but not important. But when I realized how long my clients could go with the principles I taught them a mindset shift happened in me.
Soon after I started my life coaching business in 1984, I got hired by two different women’s magazines to run regular weight loss courses for their readers. And because women told their husbands about what they had learned in my courses, soon after, I was hired by the Swiss Teacher’s Association and by several European Fortune 500 companies to coach their middle and upper management. One of the major Swiss insurance companies hired me on a monthly basis to coach their sales representatives. Companies paid $7,000 a day for my services, which was more than $1,200 per working hour. And there is a good reason for that: coaching helped their managers and salespeople to become more successful in their profession and in life – their management gained more self-confidence, which enabled them to bring more of themselves into the workplace and got healthier what saved the company a lot of money. I have heard many stories of how my coaching has helped teachers to make their students better students and solve their problems on several levels; parent to be better parents with less stress; and entrepreneurs to be more successful. At some point, I realized that for many people, my services were as important as food and built the foundation of their successful profession and a better and more fulfilling life.
Not only my clients benefited but also their families. One client, who attended one of my weight loss courses, taught her husband my principles, which prevented him from losing his job. Parents taught their children how to deal with stress and to become more successful in life. Many of the over 10,000 people that have followed my courses and group coaching improved their health significantly, lost weight, and achieved major goals that seemed to be out of their reach. Others found and realized their life purpose and are now making a difference in other people’s lives as well. Frankly, only by writing this down and formulating it out did I begin to see the real benefit of my work (we baby boomer women often tend to be too modest about our work). Things we are naturally good at we often don’t perceive as special or important because to us it’s so normal.
“You can give a poor man a fish to feed him for a day,
or you can teach him to catch fish and feed him for life.”
Since so many business people (mainly businessmen) are telling me how important hiring one or even several coaches is important for their lives, health, and professional success, I decided to look at the topic more closely. I was surprised how much evidence exists on the benefits of coaching. Numerous people report that coaching positively impacted their careers as well as their health and personal lives.
Benefits that are often mentioned are:
It’s easier to take the right action towards achieving goals
Find better jobs or career
Have more life satisfaction
Become more self-reliant
Feel more self-empowerment
Take greater responsibility and accountability
Become more productive and effective in their goal achievements
(Source: Ken Blanchard Companies)
Through a class, external behavior may change for a while, but it needs to be supported by changes in their internal thought processes, which requires working with either a coach in a one-on-one coaching setting or group coaching.
The benefits of coaching are many: 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence, and over 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills. 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment on coaching and more (Source: ICF 2009). Now imagine what will happen when we can transfer these numbers to your weight loss and speed up the process between 70% and 86%. Even I as a coach of 3 decades was not aware that coaching has such a strong impact on people (I never did the math).
Since coaching brings companies such tremendous benefits despite the costs – getting me hired, paying for the hotel plus all the expenses for their staff, me, and my assistant cost a company $41,000 to $45,000 for one weekend workshop – we may want to reconsider the personal benefits of having a coach. No company would pay such an amount repeatedly if it was not worth every penny. Most of these business clients were men. In 10 years of doing business coaching, I’ve only had three women in total. On the other hand, in my weight loss workshops I had only 2 male participants among thousands of women in my entire career. So why is that? Not only men have a stress-laden life. Not only men need to earn their living. Not only men have to take care of their health and prevent weight gain. So how come that mostly men benefit from business coaching while almost only women thought that they needed to lose weight?
One reason is certainly that women are more modest in their professional and don’t see the necessity to spend money on their growth, and secondly, women are more used to doing it all by themselves, and getting support hardly comes into their minds. On top of that, women tend to being over-critical with themselves and are more willing to invest in their personal development. A large percentage of women – especially overweight women – have a deep feeling of not being deserving. Lastly, men think more in terms of ROI than women and are not afraid of spending money on their business success, while they are much less interested in spending money for their personal growth.
Now that we have been talking about the benefits of hiring a coach in general, let me share with you some health and weight loss benefits:
Lifestyle changes go beyond “eat less, move more”
It helps shed pounds
Helps dodge heart disease
Helps reduce stress significantly and increases the ability to cope with stress
Lasting change of mindset
Implementing a healthy lifestyle
Looking and feeling younger
Long-term weight loss
Improve the relationship with your body
Increased motivation throughout the entire weight loss process and beyond
Body, mind, and spirit relationship
Transformation of the causes of over-eating and poor habit
Improve the relationship with your body
So, when is it a good time to hire a weight loss coach?
The quick answer is, whenever you realize that you need or want to lose weight…the moment you realize that there is something you want to change.
Unfortunately, most women need a stronger motivation to allow them such an investment. Usually, women consult with me after they have tried about every diet and exercise program on the planet and realized that the result was rather a net gain than weight loss. They call me when they have reached the end of their rope and don’t have any more answers left or because their health insurance labeled them as “overweight” or even “obese” and raise their rates.
Basically, hiring a coach is most appreciated by women who…
…are busy and have no time to waste
…are goal and result-oriented and want to lose weight fast
…understand the real value of coaching
…are very busy and have no time to waste
…are willing to spend some money for faster results
…understand their own value
…understand their responsibility towards their own health
…are sick and tired of the trial and error approach
Generally, you can say that the sooner a woman hires a coach, the less coaching sessions she will need. The more trial and error and dieting you have gone through, the longer it will take. Going the cheap way is seldom the solution.
When considering hiring a coach, there are mainly two aspects to take into consideration:
The time factor
The investment factor
The faster you want to achieve your weight goal, the more it pays to invest a little bit more at the beginning because, at the end of the day, the whole weight loss process gets much cheaper than by going from diet to diet. Being overweight has never been a low-cost way of living anyway. Investing in the beginning can save you much money.
There is a good reason why the most successful people in the world attribute their success to their coaches and mentors. Hiring a coach can be one of the most effective ways of achieving your goals in life.
For a short time I’m offering a small number of FREE One-on-One Weight Transformation Coaching Sessions for those women who are determined to transform their weight now. Click on the image below to reserve your spot.
Angela Buhri’s personal approach of weight loss coaching is based on several methods of behavioral psychology (University of Giessen, Germany), adult education (Inst. for applied psychology, Zurich, Switzerland), her professional knowledge of goal achievement, her own weight loss history, and her 34-years experience of working with thousands of overweight women.
Humans are whole beings of body, mind, and spirit, and Angela’s approach is a holistic one in the real sense (holistic = whole, including body, emotions, mindset, and spirit).
As a behavioral therapist, she understands that each condition has causes. To this point, she has detected 58 possible causes of weight gain and the foundation of Angela’s weight loss coaching is cause transformation. Detecting the individual effective causes and helping her clients eliminate them make the results maintainable.
Among all the quick-fix and new diet seekers there is, from time to time, a subscriber who instantly gets what my message and sustainable weight loss is all about, uses the principles outlined in my programs, and has the most stunning results that surprise even me.
One of these individuals with an amazing success story is Bertha.
Bertha is a 62-year old woman who has been suffering from obesity for 20 years. Like most of my subscribers, she tried everything and actually ate very healthy and small amounts. I often told her that she might even be undernourished because she eats so little, but she assured me that she was not hungry for more.
Despite her healthy lifestyle and daily juicing, she just could not lose a single pound for years. Recently, she learned the reason.
Bertha met a natural practitioner who found out Bertha’s real cause of being obese. Not even I knew about that particular cause….now it’s number 58 on my list of possible causes of weight gain.
Once Bertha took care of that cause, she lost 66lbs./30kg. in 5 months without dieting!
So, what was Bertha’s personal cause?
I will tell you in a few days. In the meantime, let’s first talk about causes so that you understand the principles behind this “miracle” (which is not really a miracle at all, once you understand the basics).
You probably don’t remember my last blog post I published before I retired. It was a very in-depth article (almost a small book) about possible causes of weight gain and how extra weight melts off effortlessly once the causes have been eliminated. Those readers who were smart read that article from top to bottom and instantly applied what they learned. That article included ALL the answers an overweight person will ever need to know to lose her extra weight for good. I’m very glad that Bertha read that article and took it to heart. Today she couldn’t be happier she did.
New ideas always require a little bit more time to reach people’s minds. History is full of these stories. Every new idea has to go through three stages:
being ignored or ridiculed
being opposed and fought against
being accepted as obvious and normal
In Switzerland, my home country, my work has reached stage three and has become pretty common knowledge among 20-30% of the people. In many other countries, the awareness of the cause-and-effect theory of weight issues is still on stage one.
The sad truth is that most overweight women are still searching for some form of a quick fix: fad diets, pills, gastric surgeries, etc. and don’t realize that these are tactics that are inevitably keeping them on the LONG and painful route….and don’t realize that the real answer is so close. And this hurts.
It hurts me to see how millions of women are suffering and struggling with their weight while losing weight and keeping it off could be so much easier.
How much easier can it be than eliminating the real cause and then watch how your body is doing its fat-burning job because the need for that extra fat has gone? The body only keeps that extra fat because it wants to tell you something (maybe even scream at you) until you will finally listen, hear its message, and then take the RIGHTaction, which is very seldom a weight loss diet.
Now ask yourself, do you want to continue searching, struggling, and yo-yo dieting? Or do you want to find your real, personal cause of weight gain, eliminate it and see your extra fat melt away effortlessly?
In a couple of days, I’m going to continue this story.
In the meantime please post your ideas below in the comment box what you think might Bertha’s cause of being obese might have been. The person who will guess it right, will win a free one-on-one coaching session over the phone with me.
Did you ever wonder why losing weight with a diet is quite fast and easy, but why you soon gain that lost weight back after a while…equally fast and easy?
If you have read my last blog post Causes of Weight Gain, then you have begun to understand that the weight issue is quite a complex thing – not complicated, just complex.
This is very good news. Because, once you understand what is standing in your way to a sustainable slim body personally, you know exactly what to do. That moment your search for the right diet, pill or answer stops immediately and your weight loss process becomes much more effective and efficient.
In this blog post I’m going to spill the beans and share with you some of the most important insights I have gained over the course of the 32 years as a weight loss coach. This can give you a better understanding of the real nature of weight issues and you begin to understand what you really need.
The real nature of human beings
The most important and crucial thing to understand is the real nature of your being.
You are not only body, but also mind, emotions, and spirit. The easiest way to understand what I mean is by visualizing a building with four pillars.
The building of your health – and weight – stands on four pillars.
One pillar is your physical pillar (the body), one pillar is the emotional pillar (the emotions you have daily and how you react emotionally to certain things and situations), the third one is the mental pillar (your thinking, what you think, say… your mindset), and the last one is your psychological pillar.
One of the biggest problems regarding weight loss is the misconception that you were the physical body.
You are not your body – you have a body. You are a spiritual being in a physical body. That’s a bigger difference than you may think. As soon as you understand that your physical and visible body is only a part of the equation – like the tip of the iceberg –, you will find it much easier to find the right weight loss solution that really work for you and that will bring you the desired lasting results.
The problems for you begin when you treat your weight exclusively on one pillar: the physical body, what most overweight people do by dieting and exercising. That’s why the dieting approach is so very frustrating. In fact, it’s the hardest way possible with no real chance of bringing you lasting results.
Even on the physical level there can be many causes of your weight problems beside poor eating habits and a lack of exercise.
Now let me ask you a question.
What happens to a building, if one of four pillar gets weak, breaks or falls away?
Not much, as long as the rest of the building is stable and strong. It may not be leveled perfectly anymore, and with every heavy storm it may get a crack here and there. It’s just not so resistant to strain or stress anymore, but it still has a good chance to stay for a while.
It’s the same with our health and weight. When one of the four pillars is temporarily weakened, we may face some headache, a flue once or twice a year, or a few pounds of weight gain. Maybe you can’t sleep so well as you could some years ago…yet nothing serious.
Now what will happen when two pillars are broken? The building suddenly is in severe danger of not surviving the next heavy storm. Most likely it will collapse before the next storm. Translated to your health this could be some stubborn overweight, muscle pain, joint pain, chronic headache, a heart disease, regular heart burn, two to four flues every year, allergies, and so on and so forth.
As soon as three pillars break or disappear, the whole building will collapse completely. It can’t stand on one pillar. It’s not possible.
It’s exactly the same with our health. The more symptoms and diseases you have and the heavier you are, the more is your whole health building in danger. This is the point where you have serious chronic diseases like fibromyalgia, diabetes, loss of your teeth, or other life-threatening diseases, such as cancer. You may even be obese (not just overweight), and consequently it will take you longer to bring your weight back to a healthy weight.
On the other hand, the healthier and more stable your whole health building is, the faster your body will react to even slight changes.
Of course, when the last pillar breaks, the building does no longer stand at all. For the human body this would mean death.
Again, translated to your health, the less you’re taking care of your body (eat unhealthy, diet, don’t exercise, don’t sleep enough, smoke, eat toxic food, etc.), the more you have negative thoughts, the more your emotional state is on the negative side, and the more you think about your sad past, the faster you’re going to become severally sick, the faster you’re going to age, and the sooner you’re going to die.
On the other hand, the better you take care of your body, the more positive your mindset, the more gratitude and love you feel, the more you have forgiven all those who have hurt you in the past, and the more you’re living in the now, the faster your physical body can heal, the faster you’ll lose weight, the slower your aging process and the longer you’re going to live a good, healthy and happy life – a quality life.
The best and happiest life you have, when these four levels of your being are so aligned like four horses that are pulling a wagon. Imagine if just one of these four horses would want to run in another direction. This would lead to a chaos. The same is true for your health and happiness. If only one of your lower levels is not in alignment, problems and health issues are certain.
The good news is that the reins of your personal “wagon” are entirely in your own hands. All you have to do is to take the reins and lead.
Therefore, good health and weight loss are to a great extend in your own hands, although it may often not feel that way. If it doesn’t feel that way to you, then it’s because you don’t know the truth about sustainable weight loss.
All you need to begin with is understand the correlation between these four levels and take care of them in a conscious way. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, make sure that you sleep well and enough, get your hormones balanced, detox and cleanse your body regularly, take care of your pH, think positively, be grateful and loving, forgive, find and fulfill your life purpose, let the past go and live in the here and now…and you will not have much to complain about in your life. And, as a result, your weight will eventually automatically commute in a healthy and perfect weight that is right for you and your body, just like the four horses.
By the way, this is exactly what a normal, healthy, and wealthy life looks like.
Pretty simple and straight forward.
Cause And Effect
The Difference Between Causes, Symptoms and Effect
The next topic we need to understand so that things will begin to make sense is the difference between causes, symptoms and effects. Unfortunately this is one of the most ignored pieces of the whole weight loss puzzle.
Just like the Law of Attraction is true, there is also another Universal Law that is true for everybody and everything under the Sun. It’s the Law of Cause and Effect. Every effect has a cause, and likewise every cause will inevitably have an effect. Therefore your excess weight must have a cause. And your decisions, thoughts, emotions and actions (or the lack of it) must have an effect.
The adage of every diet is: “You eat too much, that’s why you’re fat. Ergo, you have to eat less and you will lose weight.” And this is the biggest misconception behind dieting and weight loss.
The diet approach sees the eating as the cause of your weight problem. I can tell you with absolute certainty: it hardly ever is. No healthy person can eat too much and too much of the wrong food, if there is not another issue. That’s another reason why diets make no sense at all. They don’t address the real problem.
More often than not the eating too much or craving the wrong food is just a symptom that shows you that there is something wrong either on your physical level (the body), your mind, your emotional level, or your psychological level.
Before we proceed, let me give you a definition of these 3 terms.
The cause is the reason, what is behind a problem, the source, the root and origin. The cause can be on one of the four levels, but most of the time it’s a combination of several causes on several levels.
A symptom is a sign, an indicator, a warning signal. Its purpose is to alert you that there is something wrong, so that you can make the necessary changes.
This, of course, is the result, the visible effect, the reaction, or the outcome. In other words: the printout.
As soon as you understand these differences, you will stop searching for the wrong answers.
Most people mistakenly believe that poor eating habits and a lack of exercise were the causes of their weight issues. Again, the adage, ‘all you have to do is eating less and exercise more’ is utter nonsense. Sometimes an overweight person needs to eat less, but just as often or even more it’s not the eating that is the problem. Sometimes a person even needs to eat more at the beginning in order to lose weight.
Dr. James Carlson, a New York obesity physician told me and my webinar attendees how he and his patients lost weight by increasing the daily caloric intake up to 4000 and more calories per day. This is only one proof that counting calories is nonsense and will not bring you lasting results. Yet, millions of women are now following the false recommendation to reduce the calories and are deeply disappointed each time this approach doesn’t work.
Of course, healthy eating and exercise are very important for good health and weight, as you have heard before, and I’m the last person who would debate that. But…
healthy eating & dieting is not the same
a change in your eating habits plus exercise alone will hardly do a good long term job, if you want to lose excess weight for good
They will only bring short-term results, if you don’t address the real causes at the same time. I’m going to explain why in just a minute. But first let’s look at what causes, symptoms and effects are regarding weight.
Psychological imbalance, disharmony, disequilibrium, discontent, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, fear and anxiety, need for protection; lack of self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth; past trauma, abuse; an imbalance between receiving and giving, poor habit, and so on and so forth. Up to this point I have detected 58 possible causes.
Over-eating or poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of some vital nutrients, toxins, parasites, hunger attack, cravings, sleeping problems, hormonal imbalance, an incapability of loving and taking care of yourself, etc. – these are all signs (symptoms) that there is something wrong and out of balance. Some of the symptoms can turn into causes, if unaddressed.
Excess weight or obesity, sickness, problems, conflicts. Effects, too, can turn into causes if not addressed for a long time.
Symptoms are always trying to teach you something, they are your body’s warning signals. Symptoms show you that there is something wrong on another level. They indicate that you’re dissatisfied, frustrated, fearful, or that you’re subconsciously trying to protect yourself, etc. In fact, weight problems only want to teach you something and provide you with a necessary learning opportunity. When you ignore the symptoms, the warning signals for too long, you will eventually have the physical effect.
It’s your body’s way of communicating with you. The bad news is that as long as you ignore these signals, you can’t get long-term weight loss results. The good news is that eliminating the cause is often enough to turn things around. The symptoms (signals) are not needed anymore.
Most of the time there is a whole complex of several causes active in you, and therefore most of us have to dig a bit and eliminate several causes before we can strip those extra pounds for good.
Once you get that, it doesn’t matter how much you want to lose, as soon as the causes are eliminated, losing weight becomes easy, fast and effortless. The body has no longer a reason to send you signals after signals and to hold on to that extra fat.
On the other hand, if you can’t lose your weight for good, this is a sign that you have not found and eliminated the real cause of weight gain.
If you have read my last blog about causes, you already understand that overeating and craving the wrong food has a cause. Hence, the overeating and binging is not the cause of your weight struggles, but a symptom that there is something wrong on another level. The symptom cravings alone can have several possible causes.
So your poor eating and exercise habits are just symptoms that are trying to alert you of a deeper problem (i.e. toxic overload. lack of the right nutrients, parasites, emotional imbalance), and your excess weight is the outcome.
When you follow a diet, take diet pills, get a liposuction, or even worse, a lap band done, you’re simply trying to cut off the symptom. You can put on layers of make-up on an ugly face, but the next morning that person will still wake up with the same old, ugly face. Likewise, masking the symptoms is never going to bring you long term results. It can’t. Besides, by doing these things you’re damaging your health and deliberately destroying your health pillars and setting new and even worse causes for weight gain and other severe health issues.
Did you ever wonder why there are children born with terrible deformations and disabilities? Well, this can be the karmic consequence of plastic surgery or terrible body neglect, for example. We can’t pretend to know it better than our Creator without having to suffer the consequences. In many cases – especially in the very stubborn ones – the cause of severe weight issues can be karmic.
Unfortunately no surgery, no pill, no diet changes a bit in your real causes of your weight problems and they will remain effective, causing your body to gain the lost weight back soonest possible. So you are not only still having that extra weight again, but you’re also a lot unhealthier and have added several more health problems simply by trying to go the short route. And this will go on until you’ll understand what the body really wants to tell you and make some significant changes.
It can happen that a dieter solves her inner causes during a diet subconsciously and thus loses her weight without gaining it back. But this rarely happens. Most likely such a person has already done a lot of inner transformational work before starting the diet so that she doesn’t need her excess weight as a “growth teacher” anymore, like it happened for me.
Unfortunately these people often mistakenly believe that it was the diet that helped them lose their weight, but it was their inner work, something they suddenly got and solved on a conscious or subconscious level.
And, of course this also happens when a participant understands the correlation between her individual causes and her excess weight and solves the problem or problems on that inner level. Then you will not only see fast results, but also lasting results.
I remember one of my former participants who attended a weekend workshop of mine. That workshop was all she needed to understand the real issue behind her weight struggle. After that weekend workshop she moved out of the house of her sister where she had been raped by her brother-in-law, worked on her inner self-protection and lost weight without dieting. That one weekend course was enough for her to understand and solve the real cause.
The good news is that eliminating the cause is often enough to turn things around. The symptoms (signals) are not needed anymore and you can begin to lose weight almost effortlessly. This is exactly how I lost 65 pounds without even realizing.
One day I was standing in a store for clothes because I needed a new pair of jeans. I was totally shocked when I realized that my original clothing size didn’t fit anymore. It was too large. So I tried a smaller size…and it was too large as well.
Can you image the dumb face I had when I realized that even two sizes smaller didn’t fit anymore? Then I tried another size smaller and I was still loose. Then I tried a size I couldn’t ware since I was 15, and it fit.
First I thought that the clothing company had changed the numbering system. Now most people would be happy, but I simply didn’t understand and was puzzled at best. I didn’t understand because I had not realized up to that moment that I had lost weight, because for many years I only wore clothes that had those rubber bands that are flexible enough for weight fluctuation in any direction. Besides, I didn’t follow a diet or changed my exercise regimen, and since I didn’t weighed I did not realize that I had lost weight. In my inner perception of myself I was still fat. That’s why my dumb face. I simply didn’t understand what had happened.
It took me several years of studying behavioral psychology to understand why I had lost that weight without changing anything about my diet or exercise regimen. What I did was working with a psychologist on my inner issues and my self-love at that time, when I had to go through a divorce. That’s why I simply didn’t realize that I had lost so much weight. I never thought that working on my inner issues and on loving myself would help me lose weight. But fact is that I lost 65 pounds that way in the easiest and most effortless way you can imagine.
Most people make that process unnecessarily hard. They fight the symptoms – their real friends – without eliminating the actual causes, thus forcing the body to gain the weight back until the real problem will be resolved. Most people never get that, that’s why obesity is still on the rise despite of the thousands of diets and fitness programs.
It could be so simple. Instead of listening to their inner teacher they go out and get a gastric surgery, causing a new and additional problem for them and early death without solving their weight issues. The sad thing is that most people who get a gastric surgery done will gain their lost weight back after a while. And it could be much cheaper, simpler and easier…and much less painful.
Of course it seems easier to solve the problem on the physical level. But that seldom works. And if it does work, then only on the short term.
You can run away from your real problems for the rest of your life and suffer from your excess weight and the health problems this causes. But this will not get you slim in a healthy and lasting way.
Or….you can accept the obvious and transform the inner problems what is the real and only short cut and much less painful than yo-yo dieting.
So, tell me, isn’t that much easier, faster and simpler than going from diet to diet for years just to gain that lost weight back after a while?
Symptoms speak a very clear language. Once you understand that ‘language’ of your body, you will know exactly what to do or what to give to your body. I’m going to explain that in just a second. Let me use an analogy.
Most likely you have a driver’s license. Imagine that the oil lamp in your car goes on while you’re driving. This is a signal, or a symptom, if you like. It tells you that there is something wrong with your car. In most countries the burning of the oil lamp is a sign that there is no more oil in the car, what is a sign of severe danger for the engine. The burning of that oil lamp means, that you have to stop your car immediately and fill in some oil, otherwise the engine will break down.
So what do you do in such a situation?
You have three possibilities.
One is to ignore the signal and continue driving. The consequences are going to be very expensive and your car will need a new engine.
A second possibility is to smash the light bulb so that the light will go off, and the result will be the same: you’ll need a new engine or a new car.
The third alternative is to stop the car, fill in some oil and the lamp will go off. You have eliminated the cause and the symptom, the signal will stop automatically. No harm done.
In example one you simply ignore the problem and go on. Translated to your body you would completely ignore a pain, thirst, sleeping problems, or cravings.
Regarding the second example, this is exactly what you do when you take medication, follow a diet, or get a gastric surgery or liposuction done. You literally silence the symptom, the alarm signal, your real friend. The symptom (alarm light) may be gone for a while, but the real cause still remains. And as long as the causes remain, the problem will frequently pop up and come back over and over like a boomerang. You literally force the problem to pop up again and again, until the condition will be chronic or so severe that your body can’t survive any longer. This is the stage of all those frequent dieters who can’t lose any weight anymore no matter what they try, who have muscle pain, brain fog, fatigue and other alarming conditions. That’s a severe situation, and the sooner you’ll take care of the better. The longer you either ignore or fight the symptom, the louder the alarm signal will get.
The only way to solve a problem for good is by eliminating the cause. Once you fill in oil, there is simply no more reason for the oil lamp to burn, and it stops burning. Likewise there is no more reason for your body to hold on to some excess fat once you have eliminated the underlying cause. Your body knows that you got the message and can now stop the nagging.
Causescan be physical (such as acidity, toxic overload, hormonal imbalance, deprivation, etc.), it can be a certain emotional pattern, a particular thinking pattern or some subconscious issues or past trauma. How is a diet (any diet) supposed to do that job!?
Silencing the symptom does not solve the issue at all. That would be putting your head into the sand.
The sad fact is that most of us do to their body what they would never do to their car.
A car has a shorter lifespan than a person and you have to face the consequences much sooner. You know that you can’t afford buying a new car within the next 12 months. When it comes to your body we tend to think that we have enough time to fix and reverse the problem later. For some reason we tend to believe that we can get away with poor habits and an unhealthy lifestyle for until we’ll be retired. We tend to go the path of least resistance. We want to have the fun now and take care of our health later, forgetting that there is no fun whatsoever in being ill and overweight.
Many then calm their conscience and tell themselves that they eventually have to die of something anyway. They delude themselves into believing that their health is out of their hands and that it’s all up to their genetics – or worse, up to God. That is blasphemy. When we do stupid things and don’t take care of our health, we can’t blame God for the results. But, oh boy, do these people complain when they develop a chronic illness. They tell everybody who is willing to listen, how much their body aches.
We have been given free choice. We choose every second of our lives. We may be able to get away with poor habits for a while, but there will come the day when the bill will come due…for sure. The price for such a behavior has always to be paid by the individual herself. Therefore we shouldn’t complain. We had the choice in the past and, apparently, we have made the wrong choices.
Each choice brings consequences. Every cause has an effect and every effect has a cause. If we don’t like the consequences – for instance the consequence of being overweight – we have to choose and cause differently NOW. It’s that simple, really. We can change things at any time, as soon as we decide to take responsibility for our health.
When the oil lamp goes on in your car, then this is a sign that there is no more oil in the tank. So you know exactly that you have to instantly stop the car and fill in oil, because you know what the consequences would be.
When you receive an invoice, you do your very best to pay it within the 10 or 30 days period allowed for payment. You know exactly that if you don’t pay your bill in time, you will soon be charged with a reminder fee and interest. And if you still ignore it and don’t pay, you will face bankruptcy and you will lose your house, and all that for not paying a lousy bill. So, in order to prevent yourself from bigger problems, you pay your bills in time.
It’s exactly the same with the language of our body. Once you understand that principle, it will be easier for you to eliminate the causes instead of treating or silencing the symptoms.
We just have to take the time factor into consideration. Changes on the mental, emotional and psychological level can be made quite quickly, but we have to understand that the body needs time to adjust to those changes. So many overweight women have disturbed that lasting slimming process because they were impatient and stupidly went on another diet.
Now let’s talk about possible causeson all four lower levels.
Cause And Effect
Up to this writing I have found 56 causes of weight gain. This is not the place to talk about all of them. For that I shared the list with my subscribers lately.
In this article I want to share some of the most common ones to give you an idea. Some possible causes on the physical level, the first pillar:
Sign of accumulated acid
First of all Dieting/diets – yep, diets lead to weight gain for sure
On the emotional level it can be things like:
Lack of love, fear of being loved or not being loved
Inner void/feeling empty
Insufficient boundaries – not being able to say “no”
Too strong boundaries (fear of being close)
Unsatisfied hunger for life
Imbalance in giving and receiving
Not feeling valued
Living with toxic and negative people
need of protection
The 3rd pillar is your mental level. On the mental level, possible causes can be:
False tips and misinformation
Misconceptions (i.e. it runs in the family, no matter what I do I just can’t get rid of those extra pounds, etc.)
And, on the psychological and spiritual level, it can be things like:
Unwillingness to forgive
Of course, not every woman has all of the causes. However, every woman has several causes on several levels. Which ones are effective in your body? Your symptoms are your clues.
Now, understanding that there can be so many possible causes and culprits standing in your way to lasting weight loss, you may begin to understand why reducing a weight loss strategy to just two tactics – diet and exercise – is utter nonsense and CAN NOT work…EVER. It’s just a big waste of time. Of course, we need to lead a healthy lifestyle to remain healthy, but weight loss diets are far from being healthy. Moderate exercising should always be part of a sensible weight loss strategy – but please so not go about it the way they do it in The Biggest Loser. This is very dangerous.
You can’t remedy a traumatic situation that forced a subconscious mind to use fat for protection to let go of that protective shield through a diet, for example.
You can’t solve the problem with a diet when one of the causes is acidity, because every diet literally floods the body with acids what forces it to gain the lost fat back ASAP. Dieting and exercise make matters worse when your body is heavily over-acidic.
How on earth could a diet help, if you lack some vital nutrients?
You can’t hope to lose weight through a diet if your hormones or your brain chemistry are out of balance. That would only make the problem worse and would be a very ridiculous attempt.
When an imbalanced metabolism is your culprit, then diets are making matters way worse.
How can a diet change your mindset or your emotional patterns? It can’t. Exercise can change it to a certain extent, yet it would still not be enough.
Your subconscious mind will always sabotage your attempt to lose weight unless the cause has been taken care of. Then you can lose weight even without a diet. This is your chance to change your weight.
The necessary mindset shift – Tactics vs. Strategy
What is needed first and foremost is a mindset shift – not another diet.
The first step is to understand the difference between tactics and strategies. Tactics are short-term activities with the purpose to achieve some short-term results.
Strategies, on the other hand are combinations of several tactics that are well designed to bring the desired long-term results.
Diets are tactics and have short-term effects; they don’t lead to sustainable weight loss because they don’t address the real problem. A healthy way of eating is different from a diet and should certainly be part of an overall weight loss strategy that is designed to bring you lasting results. Please learn to distinguish between a diet and healthy eating. There is no such thing as a “healthy weight loss diet”. Either you eat healthy or you follow a diet.
Without a good overall weight loss strategy even eating healthily alone is not enough to get you slim for good. What you do instead is checking the possible causes and creating an integrated strategy for your weight loss that addresses your individual causes. In other words, you combine several well chosen tactics and create a strategy, your personal weight loss program, if you wish.
To illustrate the difference between tactics and a strategy: tactics may win a battle or two, but strategies win the war.
By creating a strategy you simply connect the dots.
Think Outside of the Box – Connecting the Dots
The necessary mindset shift is to start thinking outside of the Diet Box!
Look at yourself as a whole being. Therefore a holistic strategy takes care of body, mind, emotions and the spirit.
Whatever you do on the physical level will make you feel better and therefore also influences your emotional level. Just remember how you feel after a healthy meal with living food or after a 1-hour walk.
On the other hand what you do on the emotional level will also make your body feel better. Just think about a moment when you were very happy. You didn’t feel any pain and didn’t bother about your weight. You were just being happy and you felt good in your body.
When your emotions are high, you will find it hard to think negatively, therefore working on your emotional levels has also an impact on your mental level.
On the other hand, your thoughts directly influence your emotions within seconds. One moment you can feel happy and you could hug the whole world. Then one thought creeps into your mind and you suddenly begin to feel miserable. Of course the same is true when you have positive thoughts. When you feel bad and decide to think about what you can be grateful for, you instantly begin to feel better emotionally as well.
The 4th level is the unconscious mind or the level of your memories. When you have positive thoughts, this will also create new, positive memories.
And when you think about positive and happy experiences, your thoughts will be happy ones as well.
Going down memory lane has, of course, also an impact on your body. Depending on whether the memory is a good or a negative one, you will either feel well or not so good.
Likewise good physical experiences also create new, positive memories.
As you can see it’s absolutely impossible to only treat one level alone as they are strongly inter-connected with each other. You can turn this all around and start with negative memories. These will automatically bring negative thoughts, the negative thoughts will lead to negative (sad or angry) emotions and the negative emotions will make you feel bad physically, for instance give you a headache or elevated heart rate. In such moments many women tend to reach for comfort food.
You may now begin to understand why I continue saying that you need a weight loss strategy and not a tactic or two.
When you start working on the physical level you automatically also change – at least for a moment – the emotional level, the mental level and the psychological level (by creating new experiences and memories). Changes from the lower levels up have a smaller and shorter impact than the changes we make from the higher to the lower levels. And when I speak about “high” and “low”, I’m referring to the vibrational rate of each of these four levels.
Molecules vibrate higher than cells, atoms vibrate higher than molecules, and electrons vibrate higher than atoms. This is just plain physics. The psychological/memory level vibrates the highest and the body vibrates the lowest, that’s why it takes a while to see physical results.
When you eliminate the causes on the mental level you improve your physical level, your emotional level, and your psychological level.
When you transform the causes on your emotional level, you automatically help your body, your mental level and your psychological level.
And when you start eliminating all the problems on the physical level, you improve your mental, emotional and psychological levels as well.
Can you see now how working on all four levels is by far THE fastest way of losing extra weight?
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I have the hope that you begin to understand now the necessity to have a well-balanced weight loss strategy that goes beyond eating healthy and exercising. And it’s much easier than you may think and years faster than going from one diet to the next.
In the past you have gone from one diet or program to the next, each time abandoning what you have previously done. And I bet all this together has cost you way over $1,000. In fact, an overweight person spends about $50,000 in the average during her lifetime just to lose that excess weight, not to speak about the higher costs for XL clothes and the loss of money many have to suffer because they don’t get the higher paid jobs due to their extra weight.
So don’t you think it’s time now to change that and reduce the extra costs for XL clothes, for special ‘lite’ food, for supplements, books and programs that don’t work? Now you can change your strategy. Instead of doing one tactic after another, you add a few of them to one single strategy and follow that strategy until you will have achieved your weight goal.
Keep in mind that tactics may win a battle or two, but it’s the strategy that wins the war. Now you want to win the whole game, not just a little bit here and there. If you are determined to make 2016 the last year you will ever have to worry about your weight, then this is your chance. And don’t wait because, each time you start a new diet or program your motivation continuously decreases.
If you don’t want to create a sensible weight loss strategy yourself, you can join me with the SheSlimForeversystem.
STEP 1: Transform your fattening habits.
SheSlimEasy 30-Day Weight Loss Habit Transformation
Learn a simple yet powerful weight loss strategy for women and slim for good!
If you struggle with your weight, then you have probably already tried several things to lose it. Apparently nothing has helped so far long-term. In other words, by now you have probably found out by yourself that dieting may not be the solution. But what is the solution for weight issues?
Before I or anybody can give you a helpful answer we first have to look at another topic.
A few months ago I had to spend a month in a rehab clinic after a surgery. That clinic is specialized on vein and lymphatic problems. That was very interesting for me because over 80% of all patients in that clinic are obese.
While my physical therapist was working at my body we talked a lot, mainly about health and weight topics. Since most of her patients are obese I asked her one day, why, in her opinion losing weight is so difficult. Her answer was very interesting.
To be honest, from her I expected to hear an answer like, “Obese women eat too much.”“Obese women don’t like to exercise.” “Obese women have poor eating habits.” But to my big surprise she said that the single and most relevant reason for that issue was that overweight and obese people fail to look at the psychological causes. She added, “As soon as overweight people take care of their causes, they can lose weight.”
FINALLY another person who has come to the same conclusion I have! To hear this from an expert who treats 40 patients every week what makes about 1,800 patients per year meant a lot for me.
Of course, that physical therapist and I are not the only professionals who understand the connection between weight gain and psychological issues. In fact, we are in the best possible company (unfortunately that doesn’t mean that people would listen and understand).
Louise Hay lists four possible causes of being overweight:
Fear – the need for protection
running away from feelings
This alone should give you a better idea of the complexity of weight issues.
In my 32 years of working with 10,000+ weight-struggling women I have found over 50 possible causes so far. 47 of them I have listed in a report with the title Why You Can’t Lose Weight for Good – Possible Causes of Weight Gain and Yo-Yoing.
There is one simple reason why diets don’t work:
No diet or program will ever work until you will have recognized and eliminated the real cause or causes!
When we think about possible causes of weight gain we usually think about things like over-eating, lack of exercise, hormonal imbalance, lack of discipline…. But that’s only a tiny, tiny part of the whole picture.
Let’s not forget that we are whole beings. We are not our body – we have a body. That is a bigger difference than you may believe. We not only have a physical body of cells, but also finer “bodies” made of atoms, molecules, and electrons. These parts of us are invisible but not less important. The body – or the physical part – is pretty much just like the tip of the iceberg.
Our way of thinking has a tremendous effect on our healthy, our weight, our finances…our whole life. Then, of course, we also have emotions. Emotions and thoughts combined have a very powerful creative effect. The thinking, feeling and acting patterns we repeat over and over become habits which have an enormous impact on our weight. And then we have memories (conscious and subconscious). All these parts of the human being make us the individual we are, and they affect our body, our weight and our health.
One of the reasons why diets don’t work long term is the fact that people only look at the physical body and completely ignore the rest of the human being. The physical and visible part of our being is only a very little part of the problem. Therefore, a diet or any program that ignores the mental, emotional, and psychological part of the issue can never bring long-term results. We can’t ignore 90% of the problem and focus on the 10% and seriously hope that this will solve the problem.
In fact, over-eating is most of the time just a symptom; the real cause of weight gain is usually something else, for instance a hunger for life, for love, for recognition, for improvement. Unfortunately these issues are not often recognized and not taken into consideration for a sustainable weight loss strategy.
No matter how many diets you follow, how determined and disciplined you count calories, how many sacrifices you make, your weight will always bounce back if you don’t take care of the real, underlying causes of your weight problem. When these causes are being ignored for too long, they can add up quite a bit and make your attempts to lose weight more and more difficult with each year.
On th eother hand, simply resolving or eliminating the cause will often bring the desired results without even changing the diet or exercise regimen.
Here are nine examples of what a psychological cause of excess weight or obesity in women can be .
Example #1: After entering a romantic relationship with a partner, Bertha identified even more strongly with her role as a woman. Consequently, she developed a more feminine form. These curves have an erotic appeal. Her body reacted quite naturally to the new situation. If Bertha had recognized the reason behind the slight weight gain, and responded properly (accepted her body and enjoyed her femininity), her weight would not have increased more than a few pounds if she wouldn’t have started yo-yo dieting.
Example #2: Jessica did not have a steady boyfriend for a long time before she met her husband. Her marriage now gives her peace, quiet, safety, and security. This settled lifestyle gives her a sense of comfort – she is content, so to speak. Jessica’s body reacts to this peace, as she relaxes about everything. Her body gains a little weight. With that, her body signals to other men: “I am at home, I am not available anymore.”
Example #3: Erica’s self-esteem is very low. She feels that she must somehow be happy now that she has found a husband. But, in her deepest heart stirs something else – for Erica, yet unnoticed. But this part deep within herself is strong and self-confident and knows that there is no reason for those feelings of inferiority. Yet, because she has learned as a child that she was only loved because she was cute and well behaved, something starts to rebel within her. What if her husband just loved her too because she’s pretty, nice and “low maintenance”? So now, she needs to (unconsciously, because she is not aware of all this) find out. By gaining weight, she is suddenly not so cute and attractive anymore, no longer the sweet little girl. In this way, Erica wants to “test” her husband and find out if he really loves her or just her outer appearance.
Example #4: Even though Mary is very faithful to her husband, he tortures her again and again with jealousy. These outbreaks are very tiring to her, especially since she feels helpless and powerless against the allegations of her husband. She notices that no logical reasoning helps here. She wishes deeply that other men would not look at her that way, so her husband would have no reason to be jealous. Because she loves her husband very much, but knows no way out, her subconscious mind finds a solution. It causes the body to increase her weight and so lose its attractive appeal. From then on, Mary feels satisfaction and peace, as she is no longer noticed by other men. That way, her husband no longer has any reason for jealousy. However, the price is very high, because he finds her new appearance no longer particularly appealing either. Well, you can’t please everyone!
Example #5: Ruth has learned as a child, that she must not say “no,” or she would be punished. At the same time, she received from her mother the message that somehow, she should fulfill her conjugal “duties” with her husband. Now that she is married, she feels the sexual desires of her husband are often too demanding. Although she enjoys the sex, she is not always ready. Since she has never learned to say “no” verbally and she cannot stand up to her husband, her body says “no” in her behalf. She builds up a protective armor, so to speak, and gains weight.
Example #6: Norma’s situation is similar to Ruth’s. She has not learned to say no. On the other hand, she enjoys her body and sexuality. Before she married, she was quite free and could choose her lovers. But now she is only “reserved” for one man. To Norma’s mind it is quite clear that she wants to be faithful, but somehow she has difficulty getting used to the idea of having only one man in her life. She doesn’t trust herself completely. So she gains weight to keep men away. Again, the overweight serves as protection from male harassment on the one hand, and as protection from her own unconscious desires and feelings on the other.
Example #7: When Isabelle met her husband, he courted her intensely at first. He spoiled her with flowers, presents, caresses and compliments, and he called her every day. Isabelle interpreted this behavior as the great love of her life, and said yes to his marriage proposal. But as soon as they were married, the flowers, gifts and other tokens of love stopped. Isabelle believes that her husband no longer loves her. She misses the regular vows of love and affection from him. What’s more, increasingly, he is tense and busy with his professional career. While day after day she is sitting at home alone, bored as a housewife, Isabelle experiences increased cravings for sweets. For her the eating substitutes for love. And then something else happens. Her increased physical size, too, can no longer be ignored, which means that her husband has to notice her more now – she can’t be ignored as easily anymore.
Example #8: Rosmarie has been taken advantage of throughout her whole life. She is by nature a giver, and many people she met took advantage of her, including her family. This caused an imbalance between giving and receiving in her system. As an adult she had the constant feeling of coming short…she feels cheated by life. Therefore she also has the impression that life owes her something. On the physical level this results in constant hunger. At the same time she became very demanding. Often she felt so empty that to others she was like a big black whole that could take and take. In Switzerland we have a saying that goes like this: “She can’t get the throat full.” What that means is that such a person wants more and more and more, even if she can’t handle all that she receives. These people are takers in the truest sense of the word. Their throat can never be filled – it’s like a black, empty, bottomless pit. This is in most cases due to a lack of love in their childhood or other experiences of a lack of something. This can be food, but it’s mostly love and affection. Rosmarie’s way of giving and receiving is not balanced.
Example #9: Living with step-family, Linda has always been the black sheep of the family. Whenever somebody did something wrong, Linda was the one who was blamed. She was blamed for every fight and conflict in the family. There were many problems and a shameful history in Linda’s family, all of which were carefully swept under the carpet. By passing on the responsibility to Linda, the family could live with their blind spots quite comfortably. This allowed them to project everything negative onto Linda, rather than confront what needed to be changed in themselves. Instead, they could fault her and fight her. It was easier this way. They had singled out the “guilty” one. This is how Linda learned very early in her life, to carry other people’s problems on her shoulders. This pattern continues, not only within her family, but also with her friends and acquaintances. She takes the blame for problems and conflicts immediately and kind of automatically on herself – it has become her nature; it takes place on an entirely unconscious level. She has never learned to question whether others might also have their share of blame in a dispute or issue, or even realize that others tended to project their problems onto Linda. More and more, she felt like she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. She could hardly breathe and felt depressed and immobile, like she was carrying a big, invisible burden. Her overweight condition simply reflected her role as a scapegoat. It also gave her the strength to be able to carry the burdens that were not hers. In the truest sense of the word, she needed broad shoulders in order to be able to carry all that.Some of these examples may sound familiar to you and others don’t. That’s normal. Not every woman has the same causes.
These examples may just give you a better understanding of the real and quite complex nature of being overweight. These are still just a few examples and a very small part of the problem. Now, just imagine that you wanted to remedy all these issues with one tactic: a diet. You instantly realize what a ridiculous attempt this would be.
But what is the solution?
Weed out the roots first
If we want to make lasting changes and become slim and healthy for good, we have to get to the roots of the problem and weed them out. As soon as these underlying causes can be resolved, there is no reason for the body to stay overweight and it begins to burn more fat.
This may sound very complicated, but it isn’t. The only crux is that in most cases the overweight person needs an expert who is not only familiar with the possible causes but can also lead her through the transformation process. Sometimes there is a lot to weed out before the body can stop the symptoms.
This doesn’t mean that you have to go through 10 years of psychotherapy or through a very painful transformation process. Most of the time we can transform even the biggest and worst causes within 1 and 3 weekly group coaching calls. Frankly, there is no faster, easier and more efforless weight loss method out there I know of.
I personally do that kind of transformation work through one-on-one coaching and group coaching sessions over the phone. Once the real cause (or causes) has been detected and transformed, the body has no more reason to hold on to its extra fat and can begin to burn it.
Before you can eliminate the causes, you need to know them. For that purpose I have created a report with a list of 47 possible causes of weight struggles. You can get it here: https://www.fiverr.com/s2/0fa427223c.
Here is a short interview with Deepak Chopra on “hunger”.
There is one major reason why it’s highly recommended to take care of extra weight and eliminate the causes right away. And this is something else hardly anybody else tells you.
The longer you are overweight and the more often your weight bounces back and forth, the more your body creates what is called lipedema.
Lipedema overgrowth of fat cells that occur in the legs and lower trunk. In many cases it also includes the arms or upper body as well. Lipedema is often thought to be simple obesity. Don’t confuse lipedema with “lymphedema,” the accumulation of lymph fluid in the interstitial areas, though.
What makes lipedema a big problem is the fact that in such fat tissue hormones are created that force the body to create even more of these fat cells. That way lipedema can grow pretty much in every direction and to this day no cure has been found.
The very best and least painful way to lose your extra weight for good is really toeliminate the causes ASAP.
Allow me just one final word.
Everybody wants to lose excess weight fast and effortless. Here is the most important weight loss secret:
Eliminating the causes is by leaps and bounds the fastest, easiest and most effortless way of losing weight. Period.
The very first step I encourage you to take right away is to get yourself educated about the REAL causes of weight gain and weight struggles. For a very short time you can get access to my list of 47 causes at https://www.fiverr.com/s2/0fa427223c. Do yourself a favour and get it righ away because it’s only available for a couple of days.
The second step I recommend is to read that report and the list of 47 possible causes and mark all those causes you think might be affective in you.
Third action step: feel free to post your personal list of possible causes in the comment section at the end of this page, and I will give you free advice how you can get a handle on these causes the fastest way possible.
Here it is: a clean plate, a new beginning, a new CHANCE to make it happen this time.
Will you take that chance or let it go by (again)?
The choice is – as always – entirely yours. So are the consequences.
Every January millions of people make New Year’s resolutions, and no one keeps them.
The question is, what’s stopping YOU from achieving your goals?
Be it a lack of time, lack of discipline, poor planning, trying to do too much…or too little…both, success and failure are still entirely in your own hands.
Who says that New Year’s resolutions can’t last? Mine do and the resolutions of my clients do last, and it’s easier than you may think. All you need to do is working around a few stumbling blocks and not to give up. It’s really easier and simpler than you may believe.
Goals generally can be extremely motivating. By nature you are a very powerful being, capable of accomplishing awesome things. And this is exactly what I encourage you to focus on: your inherited power (not your past failures).
The trick is to…
…set realistic goals
…choose a strategy that has a good chance to bring you the desired long-term (Regarding weight loss this means choosing a holistic strategy and staying away from diets.)
…ask yourself what you are unhappy about and what you absolutely don’t want anymore
…find your big WHY and what you really want instead (most of the time the big WHYs have something to do with your life purpose)
…make a plan/a strategy that contains healthy eating, some exercise, change of attitude and elimination of some psychological causes (which are some of the biggest reasons why the weight bounces back if not resolved)
…stick to that plan for a whole year (create a “stick-strategy” – no poor night’s sleep, no unpredictable occurrence, no sudden breakup, no stressful job can keep you away from your plan)
…make just one change at the time (“Do few things but do them well.” St. Francis)
…take charge (don’t wait for things to change or for a new diet pill to hit the market, there is no miracle pill – the greatest miracle are YOU)
…take consistent and daily action – no excuses (taking action gives you such a sense of confidence and makes you feel better – being in control of your weight and health is invaluable)
The worst thing you could possibly do is starting with a New Year’s resolution without having a clear plan. Not having a plan must lead to disaster and failure.
Would a clear and simple 30-day plan with tiny daily action steps help youovercome the biggest hurdles? I’m talking about a 30-day plan all of my past participants have learned to appreciate very much. Such a plan can really keep you on track. Check it out here.
So what do you want to achieve this year? Do you want to lose 10 pounds? 50 pounds? 100 pounds? It doesn’t matter how much excess weight you want to lose, you can do it. I’m here to assist.
The worst thing you could do is letting this chance pass by and hear me say in a year from now, “I told you so.” I told my readers 12 months ago, 24 months ago, 36 months ago….and I can certainly encourage you in 12 months again. But I’d rather see you succeed this year, because there is nothing more empowering than achieving your goals. Just go about them the right way. Stay away from diets and quick-fixes (because they are actually no-fixes).
What are your New Year’s resolutions? Are you facing any weight issues that seem insurmountable? Do you want to lose weight this year and make 2016 the last year you’ll ever have to struggle with your weight?
Let me know in the comments below and I’ll gladly assist you in your goal achievement process.
Over the course of this year we talked about self-sabotage several times. I dare say that self-sabotage is one of the biggest obstacles keeping women from losing their weight and keeping it off. And the real bad news about self-sabotage is that it is almost to a 100% subconscious. In other words, we don’t even know if and when we are sabotaging our goals. That one fact makes losing weight a real challenge.
But for every challenge and problem there is always at least one solution.
Today I want to talk about ten possible ways to end your self-sabotage and to bring your weight loss success to the next level. The time for new orientation is perfect, because in a month from now you will begin to feel that strong inner desire to give your weight loss goal another try. Come January your motivation will peak and then you will be happy to have some new information and possibilities to finally get a handle on your excess weight.
Here are my 10 tips:
Hire a coach: this is by leaps and bounds the best, strongest, fastest, and most effective way of recognizing where you sabotage your own goal and learn how to end it. The better and more experienced your weight loss coach is the better and faster she can spot your hidden saboteurs and lead you to the path of accomplishment. This can be through live consultations or over the phone.
Joinagroupcoachingprogram: if you can’t afford a coach for yourself, then joining a group coaching is the second best solution. Although the coach has to divide her attention between several individuals, she can still spot your blind spots and lead you through the necessary transformation process. This too can either be through live consultations or over the phone.
The buddy system: if for whatever reason you don’t want to choose one of the first two options, then it’s highly recommended to at least find a buddy. The only disadvantage here is that your buddy most likely has her own blind spots and self-sabotage patterns. Besides, she may still be fixated on the dieting-exercise approach what will not bring you much further. But it’s still better than doing it alone, especially for the exercise part.
Schedule every single step and stick to it: if that’s not an option either, then you’d have to test your willpower. One way to do that is by scheduling every single step ahead of time and making it a habit to stick to it. For most women this works best, when they mark their calendars and reserve a time spot for whatever step they want to take.
Self-reflection: this is not an option – it has to be part of every way you choose. If you choose a coach – be it for one-on-one coaching or for a group coaching, your coach can spot your blind spots. Still, you need to do some self-reflection to accept those blind spots. If you go through the weight loss process alone, you’d have to be very good and experienced at self-reflection. It can be done.
Apply the 21-Day principle: Some months ago I offered you my free Weight Loss Habit Hack. In that free program there is the 21-Day principle included. The trick is to change habits one by one simply by sticking to one new habit for consecutive 21 days. Of course, in my free Weight Loss Habit Hack I share more information, but this is how it’s done in a nutshell. It’s easier to stick to one habit for three weeks than starting with a process you think you have to do for the rest of your life. Although you have to, it’s still easier psychologically just to think about the first 21 days. Once you’ll have accomplished that, it will have become a new habit and will be much easier to stick with it. If you didn’t get your own Weight Loss Habit Hack yet, you can claime your copy in the box at the right side of this page.
Jointhe30-DayChallenge: if you’re on a tight budget but still need some clear guidance and live support, then the 30-Day Triple PowerWeightLossChallenge may simply be ideal for you. It gives clear daily directions in baby steps so that your subconscious mind has enough time to adjust without sabotaging your weight loss process. And it costs less than $50. That program addresses several aspects of weight issues and it also comes with 4 weeks of live group coaching over the phone.
Consult a behavioral therapist: that is almost as good as having your personal one-on-one coach. A behavioral therapist can quickly and easily spot your self-sabotaging tactics and help you eliminate those. The only thing she can’t offer is the experience and expertise of a weight loss coach. So, after she has helped you eliminate your self-sabotage, you’ll be asking yourself, “What’s next? How can I proceed from here?” You can consider yourself lucky if you can find both professions in one person.
Stoptheexcuses: this possibility requires a lot of self-reflection. But when you’re used to self-reflection and honest to yourself, then this could be a great beginning. Once you have trained yourself not to use excuses anymore, you have eliminated a giant obstacle.
Stop the quick-fix mentality: believe it or not, but one of the biggest obstacles that are standing in women’s way to losing weight is their quick-fix mentality. As soon as they decide to lose some weight they want to achieve that instantly. Unfortunately many forget that they didn’t gain that weight within a month or two, and they also lack a deeper understanding of how their body really works. To make matters worse they hear daily that they could lose 10 pounds in as little as 10 days and thus are completely mis-lead by some greedy marketers and false gurus. When someone tells you that you can lose that much weight in such a short time, then he or she is a crook. Sometimes it may go that fast, sometimes it may go even faster, during some phases however it will be much less than that. And then there are months you will not lose any weight at all. This is normal and part of weight loss. Your body is not a machine. Too many then give up because they think that there was something wrong with them instead of questioning the diet or program. The sooner you understand that, the faster you can begin to make some real, serious, and lasting changes.
If you think that overcoming self-sabotage could be tough, then you have my full empathy. It is probably the toughest part of the whole weight loss issue. However, there is no way around, if you’re serious about losing your weight because fighting against yourself is very energy consuming. There is no diet that can overcome that obstacle in your behalf.
However, there are solutions to overcome those stumbling blocks. It’s not always easy, and I think every weight-struggling woman can testify that. But with those 10 steps you can achieve great results, especially with items #1, #2, and #8. Not every person is equal. Some need more time and others need less time. I have seen breakthroughs in my coaching programs in as quickly as two weeks. It all depends on how open and how willing you are to eliminate your personal saboteurs. And once those saboteurs are eliminated, the weight loss process goes much smoother, faster, and easier.
Here’s to your final weight loss success,
behavioral therapist and weight loss coach since 1984
There are a quickly growing number of weight-struggling women who realized that diets are not the solution for maintainable weight loss and who are now searching for healthy alternatives. This is quite a process and it’s a necessary first step to healthy and sustainable weight loss success.
The second step is very often not so easy yet even more critical for your slimming progress. That step is to completely turn away from the diet mentality.
The third step is developing a deep desire of slimming in a natural and healthy way.
So let’s assume that you have already gone through that process of fully understanding why diets are not the solution, of completely letting go of the diet mentality, and of developing a deep desire to find healthy alternatives.
If that is you, you are ready to learn healthy ways that really work long term.
So here are 15 healthy and very powerful alternatives to the dieting approach:
Regular cleansing & detoxification – One of the main reasons why your body is forced to create excess fat are toxins. As soon as you begin to cleanse your body strategically, your body can begin to reduce that excess fat. But please be aware that doing it once will not do the job. You have to cleanse one organ after the other in a strategic manner and repeat that cycle until your body has let go of the excess fat.
pH balancing – Just like the body needs to create fat in order to store toxins and other detrimental substances away from vital organs, it deals the same way with acid. An overweight body is always over-acidic. Regular and strategic alkalizing is therefore vitally important.
Juicing – This is a great method to alkalize your body. When you choose that step you have to make your own daily juices fresh, you need organic produce and 80% of the produce should be green-leavy vegetables. However, there are two rules regarding juicing for weight loss. Number 1: don’t use it exclusively, only in combination with other methods. Number 2: if you’re over 30 years old or want to lose more than 10 pounds, do not juice fast. Combine the juicing with healthy eating, drinking a lot of water, and doing some exercise.
Exercise – Exercise alone can let you go a long way, but not all the way down to your ideal weight. It not only burns fat and improves the metabolism, it also shapes the body, if you do it right. For weight loss you need both, aerobic exercise and muscle training.
Eliminate the psychological causes – With all the actions you take on the physical level you can lose a lot of weight, but if you want to keep it off, you also need to eliminate the inner causes.
Increase your water intake – Water is very important for your healthy weight loss. Your body needs water to get rid of waste, toxins, and acid. Plus another bonus of water is that it fills your stomach and you need less food. Very often, when we feel hungry we’re really just thirsty anyway.
Zero sugar – If you cook and bake yourself, then this is an easy one for you. Simply replace sugar with xylitol in the exact same amount and you can enjoy your home-made desserts free of remorse.
Eat gluten free – This one is harder for many women because gluten have become such a major part of our eating habits. For decades we have been told that we need a lot of carbohydrates to stay healthy. Now we know that this was false information. The mean thing is that our body has become so used to starchy carbohydrates that we often act like addicts when it comes to reducing or eliminating gluten. Yet for many of us gluten is a real culprit and eliminating gluten from your diet may be a necessity to lose your extra weight for good. If you want to be sure whether or not gluten is a problem for your body, you can get a blood test done.
Sleep improvement – One of the ‘musts’ for sustainable weight loss is the quality and the quantity of your sleep. In order to stay healthy and lose any excess fat you need seven to nine hours quality sleep per night.
Leading an overall healthy and well-balanced lifestyle – This should be a no-brainer. Instead of dieting it’s much more important to lead a healthy lifestyle in any regard. This includes healthy eating. When it comes to weight, balance is key.
Healthy eating – Instead of dieting learn to imply a healthy way of eating. This includes cooking from scratch (no or very little boxed, canned, bottled, pre-cooked, or packaged food). 70% of your meals should be row vegetables.
Change of focus and mindset – You know the adage that what you focus on you increase. It’s the same with your weight. When you focus on your extra weight, this is what you’ll get more of. Develop a positive mindset regarding food, your weight, and your body.
Visualization – This is a very powerful tool. Visualize yourself being slim, healthy , happy , and wearing the clothes you can once you’ll have reached your ideal weight.
Supplementation – If you have a full-time job and a very busy lifestyle you may want to add some meal-replacement supplements from time to time. But you should only replace one meal per day maximum. And, please keep in mind that once you’ll have lost your extra weight you would have to continue using the meal replacements in order to remain slim. Therefore I only recommend this step for the busiest women. Cooking from scratch doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to cook for hours. I’m a busy entrepreneur with 12 to 15 hour workdays. I cook all my meals from scratch and most of the time it doesn’t take me more than 15 minutes to cook a meal. Or if you have to eat out, you could eat a large plate with a mixed row-food salad. That doesn’t require more time than eating an unhealthy meal.
A combination of all of that – One tactic alone will hardly do a good long-term job. Therefore I recommend combining several of these steps and create your personal healthy weight loss strategy. Then follow through with that no matter what. Follow through with that strategy for at least a year.
And here is a very powerful bonus tip. Change your habits. It’s the habits that make you gain your old weight back. For lasting weight loss you will have to make some lasting changes in your habits. There is no way around.
“The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.” –Thomas Dreier, Author
This quote is true in so many ways. Our circumstances are always simply a reflection of what’s going on inside. It can’t be any other way. This is a Universal Law and it is effective for everybody and everything in the whole Universe…whether you believe in it or not.
It can’t be that a depressed or toxic person can only attract health, wealth, love, and happiness. Likewise it’s not possible that a mainly positive, loving, and happy person can only attract disaster, hate and tragedy.
When you sow carrots, what will you harvest?
When you sow corn, what will you reap?
Corn, of course.
When you sow beans, it’s beans you will get.
It’s one of the fundamental Universal laws that we can’t get anything else but what we cause or sow. And life – circumstances – is so kind to tell us exactly what we’re doing wrong by putting a mirror in front of our nose.
If you don’t like what you see in the mirror you can simply change the causes you have set. Sow differently and after a while you will reap differently. It’s just as simple as that.
What are the causes that led to weight gain?
Well, here is where the topic weight loss becomes really challenging, especially for all the diet and exercise gurus, because we humans tend to solve problems from the very same situation and mindset we originally caused the problem. Neither diets nor exercise alone will solve the issue. This is like sowing salad hoping you’ll get beans, or sowing radishes expecting to harvest melons.
Before you take any action towards your weight loss goal I recommend take yourself a moment to reflect on your current situation. Look into that “mirror” of life openly and ask yourself how you unknowingly and subconsciously caused that current body weight and shape. Use that mirror life is kindly providing to you.
The first thing you will see – if you’re willing to look at your weight with honest eyes and an open mind – is that there is simply an imbalance. There is something too much on your body that doesn’t belong there. As a rule of thumb, wherever there is something sticking out, it doesn’t belong there…it’s an imbalance.
The next step then is to ask yourself, where your health and life have gotten out of balance. Where is there too much of something and in what regard is there not enough?
The most obvious conclusion might be: I eat too much of the wrong food and I don’t exercise enough. Although this is true in most cases, it’s not all that there is to it.
Your imbalanced eating and exercising habits only reflect another imbalance, an inner imbalance. The poor eating and exercising habits are just another reflection of what’s going on inside.
So continue watching into that “mirror” and ask yourself where your life, your mindset, your behavior, your past choices have gotten out of balance.
For example, for many overweight women there is an imbalance in setting healthy boundaries. On one side they allow others to constantly cross their boundaries while setting too strong boundaries in situations where they should be open and receptive. They allow others to take advantage of them and at the same time they pull their guards down when they should open up to life.
A large number of heavy men and women also have a financial problem. They allow others to take advantage of them or spend money for all the wrong things, and at the same time they can be quite demanding themselves without realizing that this causes an imbalance and more financial lack. They have an imbalance in giving and receiving.
Another imbalance can be regarding your inner protection, which is very closely related to the boundary issue. On one side the extra fat acts like a protective wall and buffer around you. On the other hand that way also your contact surface grows, what is not desirable either. The bigger you are, the better you can be attacked and bullied because of your larger contact surface.
Of course there are more imbalance issues related to weight issues, but these are the three most common ones.
I invite you to take yourself 15 minutes to reflect on your personal situation and possible reasons for being heavy. Ask yourself where in your life you have an imbalance. Talk about those imbalances with an understanding friend, or if you don’t have such a friend you can send me an email to email@example.com and we can discuss what you currently need the most to change that imbalance.
As soon as you’re doing this, magic begins to happen. Because, while reflecting on possible inner causes of your extra weight you begin to take responsibility for the issue. And that automatically and immediately empowers you. You have taken the reins for your weight loss into your own hands and thus moved your weight loss progress to the next level.
You hear about a great success story with awesome before and after pictures. The testimonials are simply stunning and your inner desire to look as great as all those women on the pictures look gives you such a strong motivation to achieve the same goal and look just as great if not greater.
You have a clear vision of yourself how you want to look like as a slim person and you’re totally fired up to take action.
And then you get stuck and you have no idea why you can’t move forward although your motivation is so strong. And that’s the moment when even the strongest and most disciplined person is likely to give up…unless she changes the direction.
There are three most common culprits that can completely sabotage even the strongest determination and willpower.
The wrong method/diet for your type
A lack of information on the HOW
Some of your old, stubborn, poor habits that tend to come back to you like a boomerang
Most people mistakenly believe that they knew exactly what to do: eat less and exercise more. But even if that was true, what should they eat or not eat? So many women follow a diet not realizing that the diet they’re following is exactly the wrong one for their type. And what exercise is the best for them? Not every kind of exercise and sport is for everyone.
Although they know exactly what they want, most people get stuck right there permanently. They have absolutely no idea how to get from being overweight to slim even though they thought they knew. Yet they don’t realize that they’re counting on the wrong strategy.
And then there are the few people who know what to do – eat healthy according to their type, exercise the right way, focus on their goal instead of the current weight, eliminate some of the causes that led to weight gain in the first place. Yet some of them still fail. They don’t succeed because they unconsciously sabotage their progress. They don’t realize what they’re doing and that they’re literally standing in their own way. Some take on too little…others take on too much and quickly get exhausted. Both groups end up making zero progress.
The biggest reason for failure and giving up are old, poor habits. How often did you decide to give up on a particular habit, you were totally motivated and so sure that this time you will succeed, and then come afternoon and you were right back in your old habit?
The result I can see most of the time is that women then blame themselves, call themselves losers with no willpower and discipline whatsoever, and they give up their plans…at least for now…until they find another diet. Because the next time they’ll see a sales letter or video with all those great testimonials and before and after pictures, they will be fired up again and start all over, ending with the same frustration a few days or weeks later.
One thing is certain: we can never make any changes without first changing our habits. And deep within we all know that we can’t solve a problem coming from the same situation and mindset that originally caused the problem. And old, poor habits can be some of the toughest things to overcome. If your plans haven’t worked so far with your current particular lifestyle and your particular issues, it will simply not work…at least not long-term. What needs to be changed is the foundation.
This is where a group of like-minded people can help. Or you may want to consider working with a coach who is experienced in recognizing how you sabotage your weight loss success without realizing.
Either way, you know exactly what action steps to take and how to overcome your hurdles. That way keeping your commitments becomes easier and step by step you begin to see your fat melting away and your dream weight coming closer. It’s the support system and the sounding board others can be for you that has the best chance to get you to the point you want to be.
With either, a group or a coach staying patient will be easier because you see and feel regular progress. And patience is crucial for long-term weight loss success.
Take action now. First become aware of your current stumbling blocks and poor habits, and then decide whether you need a group of supportive people or a coach – or maybe even a combination of both. If you’re not sure what you particularly need, you can send me an email to info@sheslimfast and we can discuss your individual situation.
May you succeed this time and make 2015 the last you ever had to struggle with your weight!
Here is the story of Bertha, the figure I use often in my books because I think that her weight loss story is extraordinary and can inspire many of my readers.
Bertha is a 55-year old woman who became obese during the time of a severe personal famine. At some point of her life she was robbed and lost everything she had, including her last dollar in the pocket. During that time all she had was some flour, so she was lucky enough to bake her own bread what really saved her life.
Unfortunately that much bread eaten over months – as at it later turned out, over years – was not received well by her body and as a perfectly slim person she began to gain weight very fast. Although she only had 4 slices of bread with nothing on it per day, her weight literally exploded. Within only two months she had two dress sizes more, although she was starving.
By the way, this is proof that you can eat very little, but if you eat the wrong food – food that is wrong for your body – you can gain tremendous amounts of weight. Bread may not have had such a terrible effect on another person, but Bertha is a blood type 0, and for her bread was really the worst choice of all. Of course, in that situation it was still life saving for her and better than nothing.
To make a long story short, for years she remained in poverty and was forced to eat poorly what got her obese within only a few years. Twice a year she needed a new dress size. All that time Bertha knew that eating healthy would be the solution for her dilemma. She knew perfectly well how she could lose that extra fat, but she didn’t have the means to afford a healthy lifestyle.
For the coming years she wished, and hoped, and tried, and did everything within her limited means to change the situation on several levels. She visualized a fertile garden full of healthy vegetables, yet nothing happened. That situation lasted 18 years.
There were many situations when Bertha wanted to give up and accept what seemed to be the obvious.
A few months ago Bertha hit a new low point. She had to move because she couldn’t sleep where she lived but hardly had the energy to look for a new place, let alone to pack and move. That was a moment when she once again reflected on her life. She realized that at the current situation she had pretty much just one way to go: down. She felt trapped and had no idea what else she could do to change her terrible situation.
She was desperate for more energy and realized that gigantic storage of “fuel” in her body that – once released and properly burned – could give her a tremendous energy boost. That was the moment when Bertha made such a strong decision to do whatever it takes to burn that extra fat and change her life completely. She swore that she would do whatever was necessary to get her slim…and she meant it. For her it was now or never.
That was the magic moment for Bertha, and to this day she can’t believe how much has changed since.
Suddenly, a friend of her decided to give her $200 every month for healthy food until she would be in a better situation.
Soon after she found the apartment of her dreams that came with a half-an-acre backyard. With the money from her friend she immediately purchased organic seeds and started her own garden with vegetables, greens, herbs, berries and fruits. Only a few months later she can now harvest all kinds of salads, herbs, peas, and soon she will pick her first zucchini. That little yard is everything she needs to feed her almost all year round with the best and healthiest organic food once things begin to grow.
To fully understand the miracle, you need to know that Bertha lives in a country where most people are forced to rent apartments because there is not much space for all the people. Having your own yard is usually only possible for those with more money. Because there is so little land in her country, land is a luxury only the rich and wealthy can afford. And of course we know that Bertha is far from being rich, yet in a way she is wealthy now with her garden that provides her with everything she needs in the best possible quality without needing much money.
Since she moved she sleeps much better what gives her more energy. The daily work in the garden builds muscles and she is outdoors several hours every day, enjoying fresh air.
All this happened only within a few months where one homerun followed the next. From the hind side – and knowing how Bertha was living for 18 years before that – this is a miracle. She can hardly believe it, and everybody around her can hardly believe it.
She is finally eating more and healthier. She sleeps more. Her exercise is working in the yard every day. She is quickly moving toward living a healthy lifestyle.
And here is the best news.
Drum rolls please…..
Since then Bertha has lost a whopping 19kg/41lbs.
Remember, she is eating more, she is sleeping more, and she is enjoying her backyard and the outdoors. That’s pretty much everything she has changed. No more starving, no counting calories, no restrictions, no puffing and huffing at the gym…
This is the MAGIC of a strong intention. All it takes is a firm decision.
This is a vital part of everybody’s weight loss success. Without that you lack the foundation for your success…and this step has to be taken at the beginning. Once you have that, it will literally carry you through the whole process; and what once was hard and difficult becomes now easy and effortless.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” — William H. Murray
In my 30-Day Triple Power Weight Loss Challenge: Habits the participants learn to make such a firm decision and to feed their intention at the beginning of the program. Then, within 30 days we eliminate as many inner and outer obstacles as possible, change bad, fattening habits and learn new and healthy ones. For those with a strong determination these 30 days are everything they’ll ever need to turn their weight issues around forever. If you want to learn more, please check out this site: http://www.angelabuhri.com/howtoeliminatefatteninghabits/