Weight Loss Psychology – How To Deal With Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is an issue many overweight women are struggling with. The problem is that they don’t understand the real cause behind emotional eating and thus try to tame the beast with willpower.

This is a completely useless strategy because when you do that, you deal with two completely different levels of your being. Willpower comes from your mind and the emotional eating – as the world implies – has to do with emotions. Emotions can’t be dealt with successfully with willpower. And Dr. Carol Solomon, one of the weight loss experts I have interviewed is – a specialist on emotional eating – explained why willpower is not a good strategy to overcome emotional eating.

Dr. Solomon, a psychologist, has struggled with the same 20 pounds over and over and over again. She said that she was definitely a compulsive eater and that she was really obsessed with food. It occupied a lot of time and space in her head and it just caused her a lot of angst, a state of mind she didn’t like at all. She kept going up and down in her dieting with a lot of yo-yoing, what caused her a lot of problems.

She said that although many overweight women may think, “Only 20 pounds…lucky her,” that to women it doesn’t really matter whether she is 20 pounds overweight or 50 pounds or 100 pounds. The vicious cycle aspect of feeling that you’re going round and round and round with the same issue over and over is always the same, and so are the struggles.”

“That’s the frustrating part that it’s so discouraging for people and I think maybe people with more weight to lose feel even more discouraged. But to me it’s just frustrating, it’s discouraging and it’s demoralizing really,” Dr. Solomon said.

When I asked her what the reason for our obesity epidemic in the Western world might be despite of the fact that we have so much food to choose from, she said, “There is definitely something wrong in the system and there are a lot of factors that contribute to that. I think the whole world is feeling so much stress. People who work in corporate jobs are functioning with so much pressure and so much uncertainty. People are so overwhelmed with their lives; and overcommitted. There are so many demands and responsibilities and less support, and less social interaction; which is one of the keys to happiness. Stress is really equivalent to what smoking was in the 50’s. It’s killing us. One of our favorite responses is to overeat and I think that people just don’t make time for themselves and they just don’t pay attention. There is a lot of unconscious eating going on until something happens and then you say: Okay, I’ve got to do something about it.”

Stress is a huge factor regarding weight issues and a huge trigger. Stress leads to a variety of negative emotions which are mostly ‘undigested’, and we have to do something with them. So food is just a quick and easy answer and comes in handy, although it really creates more problems we can’t deal with.

When I asked her what she thinks about diets, Dr. Solomon answered, “Well, I think that we all know that diets don’t work, and that diets result in a net gain. I think there was a study once that showed that people on diets gain back a 107% of the weight that they lost. So, all the weight that they have lost plus 7%, and yet there is a $50 Billion diet industry out there. That’s a lot of money no matter what currency you are talking about. It just shows how desperate people feel to find an answer.”

“Diets create dependency on something that’s outside of you,” she continued. “Diet programs would have you believe that if you’d relax your guard, you’ll devour everything inside. So if you believe that, then it’s natural to start depriving yourself so that you won’t gain weight. So, it’s either one or the other all the time. You are either devouring or depriving; starving yourself or stuffing yourself.”

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But what is the answer?

If you want to lose weight, you can do it simply by eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re satisfied.

Can it be that easy and simple?

“…that’s frightening to many people, because that means taking responsibility and trusting yourself. So a lot of people believe that they have to have this sort of outside structure, this sort of outside control of a diet but it never really works. To do something different; you are going against all the machinery of the culture especially that $50 billion diet industry.”

And, oh boy, can they fight hard to keep you struggling and silence those weight loss experts who dare to speak out the truth. I could literally fill volumes talking about that subject. They just don’t want to lose you as a returning customer.

To demonstrate what a dead-end road the dieting approach can be, Dr. Solomon explains:

“A lot of people like the idea of being told what to do when they are frustrated; initially; that’s part of the appeal of the diets. ‘I’m tired of thinking about food; I don’t want to spend one more minute thinking about it; Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it; Just give me a set of rules and I will follow them.’ The problem is that the rules are impossible to follow and then people blame themselves. It also brings up resistance in people. Weight loss issues in general they really bread resistance. There is something inside of us, we don’t like being told what to do, even by ourselves. We all have these little 5 year olds inside of ourselves saying, ‘I’m not going to do it! You can’t make me!’ Like a 5 year old, stomping her feet. So dieting really perpetuates that cycle of making rules and breaking them that leads into those bigger issues of craving nourishments and gratification but not really allowing yourself to have it. So we end up feeling deprived.”

By passing on the responsibility over our weight and body to a false diet ‘expert’, we not only become dependent, we also willing pass the power over ourselves and our lives to someone else. No wonder why millions of overweight women feel so powerless. This is a crazy downward spiral nobody can win.

We’re trying to control something, and yet we feel out of control. That keeps us feeling small and powerless. Women often don’t see a way out that situation and start feeling very stuck. It’s easy to get into that situation but hard to find a way out. You eat too much and then you feel like you should deprive yourself the next day. So you eat less because that’s what all the books and doctors are saying: ‘Eat less and exercise more.’ But they never tell you how to do that in a way so that you can really stick to. The reason is that they are not knowledgeable about the emotional part of it, so they can’t tell you how to address these emotional issues.

At the beginning I said that you can’t deal well with emotions through willpower. Emotions are emotions and will is will. Both happen on a completely different level. And it’s the same with diet. You can’t deal with emotions by eating less. That is simply stupid. When it comes to emotional eating, the real issue are the emotions. So you have to deal with those and not get on the next diet.

Stress causes emotion, tension, fatigue and a lot more…all reasons that are driving us to the refrigerator. A lot of times you don’t even realize what’s happening there and why you are looking for food.

Diets are so counter intuitive; when we really think about what diets are. We are so used to the dieting approach that we have totally un-learned how to listen to our body, to our common sense, to our own intuition. And that’s what surprises me so much, that we really have lost our common sense in all that. Dr. Solomon said that statistics say that we gain 107% after a diet and I think that everybody reading this would agree. Yet people do it again and again, they do something that doesn’t work that has a 107% to fail! That is simply insane.

We have to gain back the trust in ourselves, and this starts by taking responsibility over our own emotions. And it also starts by saying ‘Stop’ to the insanity and by beginning a normal, healthy lifestyle and reducing stress.

Happy slimming!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Your Self-Worth Determines Your Weight Loss Success

How do you feel about yourself?

Do you think you have a healthy feeling of self-worth?

Most overweight women I know have rather a lot to complain about themselves, their body and weight. They just never feel ‘good enough’. They criticize their body, even condemn it. On top of that, they think that having a good sense of self-worth is not high on their priority list, or even worse, they completely ignore that part of their being. 

Feeling worthy determines how you think and act, which ultimately influences any outcome of your life, be it professionally, in your relationships, your finances, your health, and of course your weight.

Women who don’t have a healthy feeling of their self-worth just can’t keep up with any kind of health and weight loss program. Their deep conviction is that they are not worthy to be healthy, beautiful, slim and attractive. And that is such a crucial point that I just have to talk about this topic, whether you like it or not.

If you don’t have a strong sense of self-worth, you will likely fail with any kind of weight loss method.

As a matter of fact, it would be a real miracle if you could work successfully through any weight loss program without a healthy feeling of self-worth.

Did you ever ask yourself what self-worth really is?

Is your self-worth determined by how much money you have in your bank account or how much you are worth to the market place? 

Is it about how you feel about yourself?

Is it about loving yourself unconditionally?

No. Yes. And Yes. But that’s not all.  

The true definition of self-worth is rather intrinsic and internal than external.

Your self-worth has nothing to do with your current weight. It has little to do how successful you are in your job or business. Your self-worth is not determined by the number on your bank account or how many things you own. You could be the richest woman in the world and still be unhappy. You can see that very well in really rich women who need to have the most expensive handbag, wear jewelry in the multi-million dollar range around their necks, and get a new plastic surgery once a year.

If you want to understand what real self-worth is not, watch one of the Real Housewives series. That is really disgusting. These women are the best examples of being shallow and lack any sense of real self-worth. Women with a low feeling of self-worth do not take care well of themselves, eat low-quality food, do not exercise, they often have two or three jobs just to make ends meet or to keep up with the Joneses. And you also have the other group of women with little self-worth who are trying to hide the shallowness behind tons of make-up, the most expensive cloths, an expensive car, an ultra-rich husband and a house large enough to host their big egos.

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On the other hand you can have a mother of twelve children who deeply cares for them and her neighbors, who lives by high moral standards, who is loving, caring, gentle, friendly and cleans other people’s houses with great love and gusto for little money. That woman has much higher self-worth because she has a lot to give to her family as well as to the community. She has no PHD, but she knows how to love and to serve, and she does that within her personal capabilities and by using her talents.

Real self-worth never has something to do with external factors. It comes from a love to life, from gratitude towards life, from a deep rooted love regardless of their imperfections or shortcomings, and from simply knowing that we are a child of God. No matter what we have to give, giving and serving inevitably brings that feeling of self-worth, no matter how humble that giving and serving is.

Every person has a lot to offer regardless of their education. You can’t compete in terms of self-worth. You can only compete in terms of how much of yourself you are giving to the world. Women with a high sense of self-worth do not base their own value on comparisons. They understand that their value is within themselves naturally and given with birth.

And please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about self-delusion, self-centeredness or narcissism. As a matter of fact, people with a healthy feeling of self-worth are by nature humble beings who treat others with the same respect treat themselves. Regardless of their religion, and whether or not they are aware of, deep inside they feel that they are a divine being. They just see everybody as a valuable person, regardless of their upbringings, status, profession or the number on their bank account.

People with a low self-worth break down when they lose the job, go broke, lose friends, lose a spouse, lose their status, grow old or experience any kind of loss. They feel less worthy because they measure their self-worth on external things, situations and on others.

Real self-worth is based on a feeling of being loved by others or a deity as well as by yourself.

On the other hand, a lack of self-worth leads to anxiety, a lack of motivation to take care of themselves, a lack of motivation to accomplish more and become a better version of themselves. A lack of self-worth can even lead to addiction, depression, or suicide. And a lack of self-worth definitely leads to relationship problems. On top of that it makes you vulnerable to being hurt by others. 

A lack of self-worth leads to self-sabotage when you’re going on the next diet or weight loss program…because deep within you feel that you’re not worth looking good.

A person with a healthy feeling of being worthy is ready to take on bigger tasks and is willing to solve bigger problems than someone with a love self-worth who don’t even try in fear of failing.

People with a healthy understanding of their self-worth know that they are not perfect, they know their mistakes, their failings, yet they love themselves nonetheless. They understand that failing does not determine their self-worth a bit. They understand that results are mostly outside of our total control, yet they give their best nevertheless because they know that all we can do is giving our best.

Do you begin to understand why losing weight for good with a low feeling of self-worth is close to impossible?

With a low feeling of self-worth you tend to go for the quick-fixes because you don’t trust yourself and your inner strength and power. You follow the beaten path a dozen times even after you realized that diets don’t work…when you follow the masses and fail, then you at least are not alone with the failing. You try again because X said this about a particular diet. You’d rather follow the stream of the millions of other failures than trusting your gut feeling and trying something new.

For example, when people learn about the dangers of microwave ovens they always say, “Somehow I always had the feeling that they’re not good, but everybody else had them and the newspapers keep telling us they were safe. So I thought that the government would have told us that they are a health threat.” So instead of trusting their gut feeling, they followed the masses and put their families and themselves in serious health danger.

Now let’s talk about how to improve self-worth.

First of all, being a spiritual person who understands that we are all divine beings by nature and thus perfect in God’s eyes find it significantly easier to gain a healthy feeling of self-worth without becoming arrogant.

But just knowing that God loves you is not enough. You have to learn to unconditionally love yourself regardless of your current weight or shape. If you can’t love yourself now, start with being grateful about your body.

Then keeping your word towards yourself is the next important step. Whenever you decide to do something, do it no matter the weather or the circumstances. Just keep your word, even you gave it to yourself and although no one else knows. YOU know. Not keeping your word towards yourself lessens your integrity and thus your self-worth.

If you have experienced lack of love, conditional love, setbacks, and restrictions earlier in your life, then it’s certainly easier for you to stay in that state of low self-worth. But that’s not the solution. You don’t need others to tell you what a great person you are. You don’t need others to love you so that you can love yourself. Simply start by treating yourself well. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Exercise. Do something good for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time. Pat your shoulders each time you have accomplished something or made another person happy. Be generous with your smiles when meeting others. Be of service. Make this world a better place no matter how humble the beginnings.

Stay away from toxic people. Become your own best friend. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.

Cut off the negative self-talk and criticizing. Stop weighing. Stop beating yourself up! Talk nicely and gently about yourself. Always choose the best when it comes to your health and weight loss.

Change the voice in your head and begin to accept, respect and even love yourself for who you are right now and what you are capable of. And then watch how you will evolve miraculously.

If you had a real tough upbringing where you were beaten up or even punched, you might want to consider signing up for therapy. You can choose any local therapist or hire me if you want to go beyond therapy and go through a real life transformation.

Love yourself. You’re worth it! And start losing weight…

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Causes of Disease (and Weight Gain)

In 2016, a physician from the UK, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee gave a TEDx talk about disease, and the title of his talk was How To Make Disease Disappear,  chronic diseases. He started overthinking his medical knowledge when his 5-year old son nearly died. So he went back to study human health further and learned in the process that he was much more efficient as a doctor when he eliminated the root causes instead of treating the symptoms.

While I was watching the video I always thought, “This is exactly the same like with weight loss.” Being overweight is most of the time a chronic disease as well.

Then he said something that pieked my interest even more – something I have already known for years, but now I got proof for that by a physician. He said that the medical society is quite good at treating acute diseases, but that the problem is that they try to treat chronic diseases the exact same way like they treat acute diseases. He continued saying that chronic and acute diseases are two completely different things and require completely different strategies.

While I was watching I was jumping up and down on my seat and constantly exlaiming, “Yes! Yes! Exactly! Finally a doctor is talking about that important topic! Yeah!”

He then went on talking about the causes, and named things like:

  • eating too much junk food
  • chronic stress
  • sleep deprivation (just one night of sleep deprivation can lead to the same insuline resistance like six months of eating junk food)
  • chronic inflammation
  • physical inactivity
  • a lack of exposure to the sun (lack of Vitamin D)
  • discruptions in the gut microbiom

Does that sound familiar to you? If you’re on my list for longer, it certainly should.

“The problem is that there are many different causes of insuline resistence (for example). And if we don’t address the causes for that particular patient, we will never get rid of the disease.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

Now when he said, “Diseases are the symptom…” he really began to speak my ‘language’. Instead of asking, “What is the cure to this disease?” he began to ask, “What is the root cause? What triggered the disease?” Like I say it regarding weight issues, Dr. Chatterjee also says that when many people have the same disease, they can all still have different root causes which lead to the very same disease. This is exactly the same like with excess weight. Each overweight person has her own individual set of root causes.

The root causes he lists for ANY diseases are:

  • Stress
  • Sleep
  • Physical Activity
  • Gut Health
  • Infections
  • Environmental Toxins
  • Sunlight
  • Diet

Every single chronic disease he was talking about could be associated with one or several of these root causes. And he clearly said that once ALL of the INDIVIDUAL root causes where eliminated, the body could begin to heal and the disease will be reversed.

All these causes plus many more I have been sharing with you for years. But did you take this seriously? Did you believe me? Did you take care of your root causes? If not, it is my hope that you begin to listen now and believe what comes from a doctor’s mouth. 

“We need to update our thinking. Our genetics are NOT our destiny! Our genes load the gun but it’s our environment that pulls the trigger.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

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Although this talk only covers physical causes like sleep, exercise, gut health, etc., it still applies to maintainable weight loss as well. Because extra weight – especially obesity – is nothing else but a chronic disease.

Everything – literally everything – Dr. Chatterjee said in his talk completely and totally applies to our topic weight loss as well. EVERYTHING, with no exception.

Just think about, if you only could start changing these eight physical root causes Dr. Rangan mentioned, how far would you get? Changing the physical root causes is what leads to fast weight loss. Then, once you will be ready to take it a step further, you and I can begin to talk about the impact your emotions, your mindset, your subconscious mind – your psychology – has on your weight and how you can reverse that part of the issue.

Those of you who know me longer and better will not be surprised when I say that I take this further….much further. I firmly believe that we humans are body, mind, and spirit and that we can’t get cut in pieces or slices. We are whole beings and need to be treated as such, on the body, mind and spirit levels. Then you will begin to make your weight loss MAINTAINABLE!

“We need personalized medizine. We need precision medicine. If you actually take a step back, this is preventative medicine in its purest form.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

Likewise we also need a personalized weight loss strategy. Each of us has her individual bunch of possible root causes that need to be addressed to lose weight. That’s why the diet approach is so ridiculous.  Although exercise is very important for good health as well as for a nicely toned body, it still should never be the only tactic, especially for women. 

“We have to stop applying 20th Century thinking to 21st Century problems. We need to take back control, empower ourselves and re-educate ourselves away from our fear of disease and right back down the curve to optimal health.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

For thousands of years people got only fat through crapulousness. Therefore cutting down on the amount was the only way of losing weight back then. But today we live in a complex world with complex problems. We have hormonal problems, we have a toxic overload, we have food intolerances, we live in an overradiated world where our sleep is constantly disturbed. No longer is diet the only cause of weight gain, actually, with so much healthy food we have today it hardly ever is. And therefore it seldom is the solution either. It can sometimes be part of an overall weight loss strategy, but even then you would look behind the eating habit and ask “Why?” Very often overeating has deeper causes, some are of physical nature (i.e. a parasite overgrowth) and other causes are psychological. 

Complex problems call for complex solutions. So let’s start right away by eliminating one cause after the other, like pealing an onion. 

Now allow me to change one of Dr. Chatterjee’s statements and adjust it to the topic weight loss:

If we do that (take back control, empower ourselves and re-educate ourselves away from fear to optimal health) – you and I together – we can not only change our weight and health,  the weight and health of our families, next the weight and health of our communities, and eventually the weight and health of the entire world.

Happy weight loss!

Healing Excess Weight Through Appreciation

Recently I stumbled on the following story which I find very inspirational. When I read it, I instantly had to think of you. So I decided to share that story with you today. 

Enjoy reading it!

 

Appreciating Appreciation

by Michael Josephson

There’s a song called “Thank God for Dirty Dishes” that makes the point that if you’re lucky to have enough food to make dirty dishes, you should be grateful.

So instead of grousing about your property taxes, be thankful you own property. When you have to wait in line at the bank or are stuck in traffic, just be grateful you have money in the bank and a car to drive.

It makes sense, but that doesn’t make it easy.

I have to admit that appreciation has not been a natural attribute for me. In my more ambitious days when I believed that excess was not enough, gratitude seemed like a form of surrender and a very poor life strategy. After all, if you’re satisfied with the way things are, you’ll never make them better.

What a pity I had to reach my 50s before I began to appreciate appreciation. I finally began to see that it was irresponsible and irreverent not to realize how many things I should feel grateful for. I also came to realize how good it feels to acknowledge how good I have it.

Real gratitude is much more than politeness, like saying thank you when someone passes the salt or conveys good wishes; it’s a deeper psychological state of genuine thankfulness.

Whether we believe whatever good fortune we have is the product of our own labor and talents, random luck, or a gift from God, the fact remains that each of us could spend a full day identifying all the things that merit gratitude.

According to an old proverb, “If you never learn the language of gratitude, you’ll never be on speaking terms with happiness.”

I’m still a beginner, but it’s true; the more I appreciate, the happier I am. That’s a lesson I want my children to learn.

For years I am trying to convince my readers and clients to practice appreciation toward their body, because appreciation can really heal many wounds, especially the wounds of the soul. I do get how hard it is to appreciate a body which is overweight or even obese, a body you don’t like. But sometimes it just takes a small step beyond the ordinary, a step into the unknown, an uncomfortable step, even a step that might seem weird at the beginning to make new and desired experiences and see better results. 

Why can and should we appreciate weight issues?

  1. First of all we should be thankful that we have a body and thus that we have life. Without your body you would not have anything to complain because you would not have a life. You wouldn’t exist in this form. 
  2. Even a bigger reason to be thankful and appreciative our body is the very fact that it is overweight. When the body accumulates extra fat, it always has a reason for it. Under normal circumstances our body doesn’t have a problem to burn extra fat. But sometimes it needs to accumulate fat in order to safe your very life. Two very common reasons for that are being undernourished (through intensive dieting or real famine) or an accumulation of acid and toxins which need to be stored away safely from our vital organs and the blood stream (the fat serves as “storage room”). 
  3. Very often extra fat serves a psychological purpose, for instance when a woman feels unsafe or in danger. So the body helps her to gain extra protection or a “buffering” so she can’t be hurt that much. 
  4. Most of the time excess weight is simply your body’s way of talking to and trying to alert you that there is something “out of balance”. 
  5. Many women like to “hide”; they don’t want to step up and show their talents, they play small for different reasons. To them the extra fat serves a very important purpose. 
  6. Then there are women who don’t like sex or they don’t want sex with their husband. When they belong to the group of women who find it hard to say ‘No’, their body finds a solution to say ‘No’ in their behalf by accumulating so much fat that they are no longer attractive to their partner. Of course that is entirely unconscious and bypasses the mind. 

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Whatever the root cause behind weight accumulation is – yours might be a completely different one than mentioned above -, the body always has a purpose, and thus you have plenty of reasons to show your body your appretiation and be thankful for what it is doing in your behalf. Although this completely bypasses the mind and we often don’t understand what’s going on, your body is actually doing you a tremendous service. Many women, including myself, wouldn’t even be alive anymore without the extra fat. 

And if that all is not enough reason for you to be thankful to your body, how about appreciating everything your body is doing every minute and second of the day, 24/7, 52 weeks of every year? Each second of the day our body is doing a million different things to keep that “machinery” going and keeping you healthy and alive without your collaboration and often even despite of all the bad things you are doing to your body and all the verbal punishment. 

Today I want to challenge you to make a test for the next seven days. 

Write a list of everything you can be thankful for to your body and everything you like about it. Then keep writing that list for seven days minimum. Every morning after waking up and every evening before going to sleep you thank your body for everything it is doing for you. Try to be serious. Remember, you have plenty of reasons to be genuinely thankful for to your body. 

Then, in seven days from reading this article, you post your experiences below. I bet you will feel very differently and have gained a better relationship with your body. Some results are no less than miraculous.

Happy slimming!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Case Study Giselle: From a total ruin on all levels to having it all

Case Study Giselle: From a total ruin on all levels to having it all

Three months ago Giselle (56 years) contacted me because her massage therapist recommende me to her. After a short communication on the phone she decided to sign up for my one-on-one coaching. I soon realized that she was going to be one of my hardest cases in my entire coaching career. At the beginning she has been a very difficult person, she would not listen to what I said and constantly interrupted me. “That is going to be a tough year for me” I thought. Back then I had no idea that she would become one of my strongest cases studies within the matter of months. 

On the very first coaching call she brought up all her problems at once and it was a real challenge to dig through the clutter and to choose the most pressing issue to begin with. She had pretty much all the problems you can have: deep depression; financially broke; unemployed; she had no idea what kind of job she wanted – all she knew was that she no longer wanted to work as a nurse; she had no more energy left and has gained a lot of weight (close to being obese); a daily almost crippling head ache; in a relationship she was deeply unhappy with; having been abused by her father; an extremely dominant mother who thought that Giselle was not capable of accomplishing anything and thus made all the decisions for her and even took over the job of raising her child.

All men in her life were bossy, treated her like a child, and dominated her. Besides her mother and sister, also her girlfriends always told her what she had to do and not to do. Everyone in her life seemed to know better what was good and right for her than she knew herself. Needless to say that her self-esteem was non-existent. She felt like a big, fat failure and told me that she no longer wanted to live that way. Her entire life was a real disaster and every part of her life was in ruins. I was certain that we would have to spend between one and two years together in order to address all these issues. 

That was three months ago. 

For the first two months it seemed as she was making almost no progress. She constantly sabotaged the action steps – she either didn’t do them or did them in another way than I explained it to her. 

The first thing that happened was that she became emotionally free from her dominant mother and her abusive father. That was really a big one. 

After some job interviews she realized that she no longer wanted a job and put an add in the newspaper offering her service as a caretaker for elderly people. Within only a few days she got two great engagements and now she is her own boss, deciding how much her work is worth and making the price. Now she earns more money than she has ever earned before as a nurse and has not to work any night shifts anymore. 

Then she had a longer phone call with her daughter and their relationship began to improve. 

On the other side, the relationship with her boyfriend began to briddle very quickly and soon she realized that she was no longer emotionally attached to him. He doesn’t fit in her life anymore because she no longer needs a father figure (he is 26 years older than Giselle). When I told her that this would open herself up for a new and better relationship she instantly refused and said that she was done with men and that she didn’t want another man in her life anymore. One day he called her “baby” as he always does. Without thinking or giving it a second thought, Giselle was bursting out, “I’m not a baby, I’m a lady!” That was the first time we got a glimpse of her real inner strength. From that moment things started moving very fast. 

Then, suddenly her health improved dramatically. Whereas she would be in bed all day long and sleep 12 hours every night before, she suddenly had more energy and started making changes in her apartment and shifting things around. Her brain fog was gone, her memory improved and she could better concentrate. Now she could do a better job with her clients and has more stamina. 

She began to be more careful about when and how much she would allow her bossy sister and girlfriends into her life and what she would tolerate from them. She learned to say ‘No’. For the first time in her life she could set boundaries and clearly say what is tolerable and what is not. 

In other words, she has been cleaning out and decluttering her entire life. 

During all that time we never did anything regarding her weight and she never weighed. She occasionally complained about her weight and I kept reassuring her that her body was taking care of the weight itself. And it has. Three weeks ago she told me that she had lost several kilograms and since then she is constantly losing weight. 

Two weeks ago she met a lovely man who is 10 years younger than Giselle – the kind of man she always wanted and was certain he would not exist. They both fell in love with each other and both feel that the other one is just the “one”, the partner they have always been looking for and dreamed of  but never found before. Very quickly they realized that everything fits. Beside the fastly growing love, they have many common interests, he treats her with the respect she always dreamed of and deserves, and they have the best sex life ever. They both feel that they have arrived. 

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And – ladies, listen well now – he said that she doesn’t need to lose weight because he loves her the way she looks like. 

Does this all sound too good to be true to you? If this was your first thought, then maybe you are a cynic because life has not been very friendly to you in the past. Maybe you have given up believing in miracles. I have seen such life stories among my clients over and over. This time I’m just surprised myself how fast this all came together and how fast Giselle could move from a life in ruins to having it all. And I have the feeling that very soon that coaching spot will open up for a new client. 

Now seriously, how could this happen? 

Do you remember my personal story when I lost 58 pounds within a few months effortlessly without dieting or doing anything about my weight, started a new career, having the priviledge to work with over 10,000 individuals in my coaching career and fulfilling my life purpose? 

All this happened after I transformed my traumatic childhood experiences, learned to set healthy boundaries and literally decluttered my old life. In other words, I removed the root causes which had led to my weight problems. In my own life as well as in Giselle’s, it also meant to let go of a relationship which was not good for me. 

In Giselle’s case, I did nothing else but helping her to transform her personal root causes which had led to weight gain. We never did anything regarding her weight at all. She always loved cooking and she is still enjoying it and has no food restrictions except those foods she is allergic to. What we did do for the sake of her health is eliminating a few bad habits. 

Extra weight is nothing else but a signal – a warning sign – that there is something in your life that got out of balance

Since your body has no voice, it has to communicate with you in its own language, and the body’s language is SYMPTOMS. Your body communicates with you through symptoms. Once you understand what your body is trying to tell you, listen to its voice and make the necessary changes – i.e. letting go of rotten relationships, setting healthy boundaries, transforming traumatic life experiences, etc. – your body has no longer a reason to keep talking to you through extra weight. As soon as the effective root causes have been eliminated or transformed, your body can take care of the fat burning process. The symptom is no longer needed. Now the body can stop the ‘nagging’ and yelling. 

Root causes can be found on the physical level (e.g. food intolerances, diabetes, toxic overload, etc.), the emotional level (how you emotionally respond to circumstances and the world around you), the mental level (your mindset, your way of thinking, what you say, your belief system), the psychological level (your memories, your subconscious mind, past experiences, unhealthy boundaries, etc.), and even on the spiritual level (karma, stuck energy, etc.). They can be experienced in relationships with the opposite sex and the family, in your professional life, in your health or the lack of it, and whether or not your life is interesting, fulfilling and well balanced or not. 

You are a whole being and you can’t be cut in pieces or slices. Your happiness comes with a life well balanced on all pillars. Unfortunately that’s exactly what the diet industry and the gastric surgeons do with you. They never ask WHY you eat too much, WHY you eat the wrong food, WHY you don’t like to exercise, or WHY you feel hungry all the time. They don’t look at the WHY – the root causes. All they do is trying to remove the symptom, the warning signal. And once they have done that, they don’t care about the rest and leave you alone with all your troubles and issues. They don’t care because they can’t, they don’t have the right answers. 

Another reason why my method is working so well, fast and effortlessly is because it is based on natural laws, the laws of the universe. These are laws which are true for everything and everyone. They are non-negotiable. If you jump off a 20-story house, you don’t fall upwards; you fall down and you’ll be dead. That’s non-negotiable. if you saw carrots, you will not harvest onions; you will harvest carrots for sure. That is non-negotiable. When you are a person who constantly thinks negatively, there is no way that you can attract something positive; you will attract more negativity, disease and disaster into your life. That is non-negotiable. 

When you adhere to the laws of the universe, you will reap positive things in ALL aspects of your life. It doesn’t matter whether you want to lose weight, find a better paid job, find a new love, gain better health or achieve any goal, the way to approach these goals is always the same. Just follow the laws of nature and you will manifest all these things into your life because when you do that, literally your whole life is going to improve. You can’t cut your life in slices and pieces either. On the other hand you can not go on a diet and by doing so find a better job, find a new love, improve your health and lose weight all at the same time and with that same tactic. The reason is because diets are not only not based on the laws of nature, they are flat out a violation of the laws of your body. Our body reacts conversely to diets than we want and consequently we ‘reap’ the yo-yo effect.

One of these natural laws is that the pendulum swings as far to the left side as it moves to the right side. Translated to Giselle’s situation: the worse her old life was, the more the pendulum had to swing to the other side and bring her a life of good and happiness.

Another natural law is that the more time, energy and effort you put into a goal, the more you will get out.

Right now I have ONE single spot open for one-on-one coaching over the phone. If you want to transform your weight…if you are serious about losing your weight in a healthy and maintainable way…and if you are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that goal, then you can send me an email and let me know that you are ready to work with me. In a free consultation over the phone I will explain you the options you can choose from. That is non-binding and you can either take my offer or leave it. Once that one spot will be filled, you can get on my waiting list.

In the meantime:

Happy slimming! 

* Disclaimer: these results are not typical. How fast a client experiences positive results entirely depends on how committed she is and what action steps she takes.

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

How Impatience Can Completely Spoil Your Weight Loss Process

How Impatience Can Completely Spoil Your Weight Loss Process

We are living in a time where everything has to happen on the push of a button. Because of cell phones and WiFi radiation, people’s attention span has drastically been decreased. When people want something, they want it yesterday. They can’t wait, they can’t allow processes to happen, things to grow and look forward to receiving a gift on Christmas instead of today. 

A recent experience with one of my clients has demonstrated this so extremely well that it made me cry for a day. 

Let’s call her Martha. Martha has been doing very well with my system. She showed up every day and went through the daily action steps. And because she was so disciplined, she had great weight loss success immediately. Because she was so happy with my program, she decided to become my affiliate partner – partly because she wanted to finance her attendance in one of my programs and also because she wanted some additional income.

Because she was a new affiliate partner I invited her to a free four week affiliate training program where we are meeting four Saturdays for 90 minutes on Zoom. The purpose of that training is to give my partners a great start and fast income, because especially now where so many people in the USA earn less due to the Covid crisis, many people have to earn a side income pretty soon. 

Now, if you guessed that like losing weight, earning money as an affiliate might take some time, you are right. 

Martha was on the first Saturday call, missed the second one and joined us for the third call. That was before we had even started with the promotion. Monday morning I went online and just wanted to send her the good message that I will get some media appearances in her state to help her earn money faster, when I saw her message. In that message she let me know that she could not commit to more Saturday trainings (four in total) and that therefore she would not want to work as an affiliate. 

Did you ever hear about a new job which does not involv any learning? 

That woman was just one inch away from the success she wanted, and she quit because of her impatience. Over time I have come to know her quite well, and she is the kind of person who does something in a rush and then changes her mind. And I also know that my method is the only chance for her because she already had a gastric surgery and gone through pretty much all diets that exist (according to her own words). 

According to her own words she is a quitter. She would begin something and then quickly give that up and turn to something else. This is the behavior of people who are never successful…neither regarding weight loss nor in live generally. 

I see similar situations regarding weight loss so many times. When I work with people in group or one-on-one coaching sessions I see who is shortly before a major breakthrough. And so often women give up right before such a breakthrough moment just because of their impatience.

They can’t wait. They can’t allow a process to happen. And they will never know how close they had come to their goal. 

Then they go on the next fad diet, take expensive weight loss products or get a gastric surgery done which create tremendous health problems and make matters worse in any regard. And at the end they gain that quickly lost weight back because it was not a sustainable method. Yes, they did have quick success…but at what cost? 

All processes and goals require time. We can’t force things into manifestation…we can work them into manifestation. All things have their own timing, be it weight loss or becoming financially free. 

As a surfer you can’t controle the wave – you can only ride it. 

If you want to lose weight for good, you better develop the habit of being patient, otherwise you will find yourself at the end of your life, frustrated, broke, ill and still overweight, blaming anything and anyone else but yourself. Losing weight for good is very much about letting go: letting go of the causes as well as of the extra fat. By being impatient you constantly disturb and stop the process you have started. Then you have to start all over again and you will never achieve enough momentum to achieve your desired goal. And this is really sad. 

Here is what the typical diet process looks like: 

People go on a diet and then stop. After a while they jump on the next bandwaggon, and when they realize that they don’t achieve their goal as they wished, so they stop again. That way they go from diet to diet and program to program, spending thousands of dollars and at the end they find themselves at the old starting point again, and at some point they simply give up. Nobody has enough willpower and energy for constantly losing and failing over a longer period of time. So dieters are literally forced to give up after a while. 

Because of the nature of the dieting approach, people are FORCED to stop the process after some time, otherwise they would get too much deprived of vital substances and become severally ill. So their weight loss process is a constant stop and go and stop and go without gaining any momentum. But momentum is crucially important for any goal achievement process. That’s why patience is so important.

Without patience…no momentum. Without momentum…no goal achievement. 

Therefore, patience is a necessary, indispensable part of your weight loss success. 

“Patience is a necessary, indispensable part of your weight loss success.” 

Would you ever open a petal so that the flower would bloom sooner? Would you break an egg just because you wanted to see that chicken be born sooner? Would you ever cut the cocoon of a butterfly just to let it fly before its time would have come to spread the wings? 

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Nobody who is reading this article would ever be that stupid. But why can so many women not come up with the same common sense when it comes to their weight loss? 

Please keep in mind that you did not gain that extra fat within a few weeks or months. So why on earth can anybody expect to lose it that quickly? Our body is not a machine…it takes the body time to shift all the functions and make the necessary changes so that it can burn off the extra fat for you.

For your body, there is a lot of “underground” and foundational work required before you can see the results on your scale. Expecting the body to do its job much faster than it really can according to its own nature is simply not fair, it’s not realistic and it’s not sensible at all. 

Here is a simple test whether you are on a fad or on a real cause-transformation weight loss program. If you are new to my system, fads lead to fast weight loss at the beginning but the results are not maintainable; the only maintainable method is to transform or eliminate the root causes so that your body doesn’t have the need to hang on to its extra fat anymore. In other words, you change the problem at the foundation, at its roots and the problem changes itself.

Here is the test: 

If you lose weight immediately and if the weight loss gets slower and harder over time, you’re on a fad and doing something that is against your body’s nature. If it takes a while for the weight loss to show on the scale and weight loss slowly increases more and faster over time, then you’re on a cause transformation program. The first one leads to yo-yo dieting and the latter to lasting results. 

Sheeps running off a cliff (www.freethoughtblogs.com)

The problem is that impatient people are constantly demanding and screaming for the next fad diet. They want immediate results. Of course they then complain for years after the diet failed. But sure enough, as soon as the next “new” diet will be advertised, they jump on that bandwaggon like headless sheeps following one another running off a cliff. 

The lasting, maintainable approach of eliminating and transforming the root causes first is only for the smart, educated and patient kind of women. Unfortunately, many of these women have already gone through so many diets and programs that they have lost faith in their body’s capability to burn off fat. The only way for these women to achieve their desired weight goal is by cultivating patience

Cultivating patience is one of the first things for a successful weight loss process.

Happy slimming!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Weight Loss Psychology – Habits Can Change Your DNA

Weight Loss Psychology – Habits Can Change Your DNA

I hear it so often.

Especially women try to convince me that their weight issues have a genetic reason. They tell me that their mother/father and grandmother were overweight as well and that they will have to live with their extra weight for the rest of their lives. Yes, doctors do tell you that you can’t influence your DNA, but this is simply not true. There is scientific evidence that we can literally change our DNA with our behavior, not only for ourselves but we can also pass the positively altered DNA along to our children and grandchildren.

We are not just a victim of our ancestors and their genes. There is scientific evidence that our daily habits can turn genes on or off. Scientists call that gene expression or epigenetics. The simple definition of epigenetics is the study of biological mechanisms that can switch genes on or off. Thanks to epigenetics we know that environmental stimuli can also cause genes to be turned on or off (worst of all currently are cell phones and WiFi). Our DNA can be modified by what we eat, where we live, the kind of people we interact with, when and how much we sleep, how and how often we exercise, and the aging process.

“We are not just a victim of our ancestors and their genes. There is scientific evidence that our daily habits can turn genes on or off.”

If you have thought so far that you’re just a victim of your ancestors’ DNA, this is now good news for you. It is worth to eat healthy, it is worth to sleep enough, it is worth to exercise regularly, it does matter who our friends are. Therefore, our health, weight, and pretty much our entire life is very much in our own hands.

Can you begin to see how very important and powerful it is to take care of your habits?

Over 20,000 genes and the endless possible combinations and arrangements open up a whole new world to weight struggling women. If we can reverse the gene’s current state and keep the good while eliminating the bad genes, then we’d be able to reverse obesity and weight issues.

According to The Owner’s Manual for the Brain by Howard, our daily habits can and will turn genes on or off. Our habits therefore determine whether we are opening the door to cancer, diabetes, addictions, brain damage, heart diseases, and early aging or to health, wellness, being slim, and longevity.

“Our habits determine whether we are opening the door to cancer, diabetes, addictions, brain damage, heart diseases, and early aging or to health, wellness, being slim, and longevity.”

Therefore it’s safe to say that our habits literally determine our fate. Bad habits can and often do lead to financial problems, job loss, and health issues. These results all have an effect on our relationships, on our happiness, and on our health again. This all leads to stress what forces the body to create adrenalin and cortisol which switch on a series of bad genes. These then can lead to heart disease, cancer, and autoimmune diseases and weight gain… a veritable downward spiral.

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Habits have always a tremendous domino effect, and it would be a bad decision to ignore them. Especially when it comes to weight loss, habit is at the very foundation of your weight loss success or failure. Your habits either make or break your weight loss success.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

Mahatma Gandhi

“Your habits either make or break your weight loss success.”

Here are some of the bad habits that turn on bad genes:

  • Consume alcohol excessively
  • Drug consumption
  • Smoking
  • Unhealthy eating (too much junk food)
  • Sedentary lifestyle (lack of daily aerobic exercise)
  • Sugar consumption (sugar is toxic and leads to many bad chemical reactions in the body)
  • Lack of studying (not exercising our brains by reading or learning new skills leads to faster aging)
  • Allowing negative thinking and emotions
  • Using a microwave oven (microwaves alter the DNA and inevitably lead to weight gain)
  • Using a cell phone and WiFi internet (both are based on the microwave technology which is known to alter the DNA)

Since everything has two sides, good habits can also turn good genes on and bad genes off. Positive habits lead to a never-ending positive chain reaction leading to reduced stress, better health, financial freedom, longevity, happiness, good relationships, success, etc.

“Positive habits lead to a never-ending positive chain reaction leading to reduced stress, better health, financial freedom, longevity, happiness, good relationships, success and a lean body.”

Habits which can positively affect your genes:

  • Healthy eating (natural, organic, living food cooked from scratch).
  • Cooking with love the old-fashioned way.
  • Daily aerobic exercise.
  • Daily reading or learning new skills (leads to an increase of your IQ and to more success in business or job).
  • Meditation and prayer (can powerfully turn off bad genes that contribute to various types of diseases and turn on good genes that prevent diseases).
  • Positive mindset and emotions (thoughts and emotions alter the brain’s chemistry).
  • Using a land line for calling and internet access.

It is my hope that you begin to realize how powerful habit change can be, how much easier weight loss can become and how much better your overall life can be.

Being patient with your habit transformation is too powerful, and we’d be stupid to ignore it. On the other side bad habits lead to too much stress, disease, weight gain, faster aging and suffering if left unattended. 

The disadvantages of habit are to great and the advantages of good habit are too good to ignore.

Here’s to your ongoing weight loss success!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Weight Loss Psychology – How long does it take to form a new habit?

Weight Loss Psychology – How long does it take to form a new habit?

Did you ever hear the saying that once you can ride a bicycle you’ll never forget how to do it? Even if you would not use it for 20 years and then one day decide that you want to take the bicycle instead of the car, you would still do it the right way without having to think about. 

The interesting thing is that it takes a very short time to form a new habit we find pleasurable. On the other hand it can take between 30 and to 254 days to form a new habit that is not so convenient (Study by University College of London performed on 96 people). Of course, more complex behaviors like playing the piano require more time to become a habit. Less complex habits like pealing an apple in a certain way can be formed within a few days. What all habits have in common though is that, once formed they will never go away. Kind of scary, isn’t it?

There are many different kinds of habits, for instance habits that secure our survival like learning how to walk. If we had to decide each time which step to put forward next, we would get crazy. Our brain would constantly be focused on how to do simple, repetitive tasks instead of engaging in new, more important ones.

Since we form new habits by making choices – most choices we make rather serve our lazy self – we have many habits we are not even entirely aware of. Some habits affect our live more than others. Some are beneficial and lead to health, wellness, happiness, great relationships, success and wealth while others lead the opposite way. Some habits have drastic consequences and others only minor consequences in our lives. Some habits such as smoking, consuming too much alcohol or use other drugs can offset or set in motion several less powerful habits. They literally cause a chain reaction of several more habits that are either beneficial or not.

One of these beneficial habits that are followed by other positive ones is exercising, for instance. Once you exercise daily, you need to drink more water. Then you feel less hungry and eat less heavy food. After a while you develop the desire to eat more healthy food so that exercising becomes easier. In the meantime you start losing weight what motivates you to adopt other positive habits and keep that healthy lifestyle.

Improving the quality of sleep and getting enough sleep (7.5 to 8 hours every night) is another such power habit that creates a domino effect. You lose weight easier and faster, you have more stamina during the day, you are more focused and concentrated, and you have more energy to go out and so some exercise.

Smoking on the other hand can negatively offset the benefits of daily exercising and healthy eating. Because of the many toxins cigarettes contain, the body gets a load of toxins it has to deal with what inevitably leads to weight gain.

The trick is to stick to a new habit long enough so that your brain begins to form new neural pathways. If you give up too soon, the brain will quickly and easily force you back into your old habit and all the effort, time, and energy was wasted. The next time you are making another attempt to change that particular habit, it will be even more difficult to eliminate it. It is necessary to stick with your desired habit long enough so that the brain has enough time to form new neural pathways. This is one reason why over 90% give up on their New Year’s resolutions every year. Poor habit is also responsible for the fact that more people want to become rich than actually are rich…they are just not willing to form the habits which are necessary to achieve success.

Another reason is that people don’t really know how to change their habits and are trying to do it with willpower. But willpower is only needed at the beginning to decide on the new habit. What you will need after that is patience, perseverance and consistency. Most people make the mistake to use the little willpower they have left to keep going, not realizing that willpower is only the initial power. After that it requires discipline to show up every day for a certain time, patience, and perseverance until the new habit (be it weight loss habit, success habit, or any other habit) will be formed. These are also qualities we need to develop to be slim, healthy and successful in life.

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What is very important for that part of habit forming is a strong why. If your life depends on, the chances are much bigger that you will succeed with your habit forming process than just being angry at yourself for giving up too soon.

If you’d try to outsmart your bad habits by taking a weight loss pill or by getting a gastric surgery done, for instance, your habits would still be effective and the struggle would go on and on.  

There are much easier ways to change habit than trying to come up with more willpower than you have. One way is to transform them instead of trying to eliminate bad habit. Habits can’t be eliminated anyway. Once the neural pathways are there, the old habit will remain. The only thing you can do is replacing the poor habit with an even stronger positive one. There are some smart ways you can use to fool the brain into collaborating and embracing a new habit. However, if you don’t know how to do that, the chances that you’re going to lose that war are big.

Our body always follows the rules of nature and is most of the time smarter than the person sitting inside of the body. But once we begin to understand the nature of our bodies, how it works, what it needs to accomplish, and how we can rather support our body instead of trying to force something onto it, we become a team and changes will be much easier and more effective. Then you will be the smart leader and your brain/body will become your enthusiastic partner supporting you in your weight loss goals.

As soon as you let your brain become your partner, habit change can occur almost instantly. Such an immediate habit change makes your whole life a lot easier and things can begin to change immediately as well.

Weight struggles and poor health have mainly to do with some poor habits, and once these habits have changed, our lives will immediately begin to change as well. Weight loss then becomes much more effortless and better health will be another consequence.

The better you and your body become as a team, the faster and easier you can begin to transform other poor habits as well and your live will drastically improve in any regards.

Happy weight loss!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

The Weight Loss Lesson I’ve Learned From Flies At The Window

The Weight Loss Lesson I’ve Learned From Flies At The Window

There are people and even animals that can teach us  important life lessons. Some teach us how to do something and others teach us how NOT to do it. Today, I realized that especially flies can teach us how NOT to go about a goal.

Here in Switzerland, when you live in the country near a farm, you always have flies in the home. So do I.

For the thousandth time I was nerved about the flies at the window when I got up this morning and before doing anything else I first I opened the window to release them. Of course, as usual, nothing happened. They had absolutely no inclanation to leave my bath. The flies kept sticking to the glass not realizing that freedom was just a few inches away. Instead, they were stubbornly sticking to the glass, and even when I tried to help them crawl or fly over the window frame towards freedom, they would do everything to stay on the glass. Some even found their way out and instantly came back.

Flies constantly buzz around on the glass just moving millimeters trying to miraculously move through the glass to freedom, and this goes on for days. Sometimes they fly up and then fly very quickly toward the glass in an attempt to break through it. They just never seem to get tired from trying. Of course they are attracted by the light that is on the other side. But they don’t realize that there is no direct way through the glass. All they would have to do is crawling or flying around the window frame and they would be free. But no, even when you help them, they refuse to take that little hurdle around the window frame and then be free.

While I was patiently helping one flie after the other to reach the other side, it suddenly dawned on me that we humans are ofthen like a fly at the window. We see something we want and then we try to get that on the most direct way we can see. Depending on how  much we want something, we try and try and try again. And interestingly, we often try the very same way over and over even though it didn’t work the first time just like the flies.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” –Albert Einstein

Sadly, this behaviour is not being practiced more often and more frantically than by people who want to lose weight. They try one diet after the other, they join exercise groups and sweat their butts off at the gym without getting really great results, especially women. Then they gain their weight back and after a while they try another diet or regimen. Remember the flies at the window that are just moving millimeters trying to find a way out. Going from one diet to the next is the same approach….millimeters or inches away from what they did before. And when they’re too exhausted from “buzzing” around, they try another short cut – gastric surgeries, for instance – not realizing that this is a dead end with no more way out and that they will be trapped in their forever. Like the fly that refuses to flie a little bit higher to move beyond the window frame they eventually starve to death.

Flies don’t realize that it would just take a short “detour” of a few inches or just a little bit more effort to move beyond the window frame and they would be free what would at the end turn out to be the faster way. Humans are so brainwashed regarding the dieting/exercise approach of losing weight that they don’t realize that simply leaving the dieting path and moving around the obstacle would bring them the desired results. Something that looks like a detour at first sight very quickly turns out to be the fastest way to reach their desired goal. Instead they are like kids standing in front of a shop-window squashing their nose against the window and starring at something they want.

Years ago I had a problem with my teeth no dentist could nor would fix, and the alternatives they offered me were not acceptable to me. One day I talked to a friend about my dilemma and I said, “There is just no solution for my problem.” Then she said something very simple that immediately shifted my mindset. She said, “But what if there is a solution and you just can’t see it? What if…?”

Henceforward my friend’s “What if…?” stuck with me, and each time I felt discouraged I thought, “What if there is a solution I don’t know yet?” One day I received an unsolicited email which described my problem word by word in their headline. Usually I move these emails to my spam folder immediately, but then something stopped my hand with the mouse and I started reading. On their website they explained exactly my problem and shared how they solve the issue (and no, I never discussed this dilemma with anybody by email so that Google could send me the right ads). It was about a method of a group of European dentists who are practicing in Bulgaria no dentist in my own country knew about or was brave enough to try.

My first reaction was, “Bulgaria? An ex-communist developing country!?” I was prejudiced.

Fortunately, my prejudice did not stop me from at least find out more about. Since I had the “What if…?” mantra in my mind I called them just to hear whether or not they thought they could help me. I told them my story and they sayd, “Yes, no problem, we do that kind of work every day.” Then I asked for their price and it turned out to be a third of the work my Swiss dentist offered me for a solution that was not acceptable. After that phone call and after reading some of their testimonials I felt deep in my heart that this was the answer. But then there was another obstacle: I couldn’t afford the flight and the hotel. So I kept that goal in my mind and heart constantly saying, “I found the answer for the right dentist. So what if there is an answer for those obstacles as well?”

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I talked about that possibility with another friend and she said, “I need help with my business. You can work for me and I will pay for your flight.” So the ticket was covered, but what about the hotel (their patients stay in a hotel for an entire week to have enough time to do a good quality job)? That was still beyond my budget. I kept practicing an open mind and said, “What if there is a solution for the hotel as well?” A few days later I received an email from that clinic in Bulgaria telling me that they added my name to a draw and that I had won a week in a hotel near their clinic for the next month. So I called the clinic and made an appointment, booked the flight and the hotel. Two weeks later I was in Bulgaria in a nice little hotel overlooking the Black Ocean and near the most modern dental clinic I had ever seen.

Had I allowed my prejudice to win, I would have missed one of the greatest opportunities. It turned out that just like the Swiss are the best teachers and watch makers, the Austrians are the best confectioners and the Dutch are the best physical therapists, the Bulgarians are the best dentists. Before I went there, I had no idea that they have patients from all around the world, even from Japan.

At the end this turned out to be the perfect solution for me and far better than I had ever dreamed. And all that was only possible because I opened up to solutions that were not apparent to me before and that were far beyond my imagination…just because I remained open and kept asking myself, What if there is a solution?”

Was it a detour? Only at the first sight. At the end it turned out to be much faster than any other solution I knew, and despite of the flight still less than half the price I would have had to pay in Switzerland for a solution that was not acceptable, and way better and more reliable than anything else. That “detour” turned out to be the fastest way possible to my desired goal. On top of that it was a wonderful experience to fly over the Carpatian Mountains and to have a one-week vacation with a view of the Black Ocean.

Most of the time the way to our desired goals is not a straight path, and the straight path often turns out to be a dead end road. Goal achievement often goes in turns and turnoffs.

When you are on the WRONG path, you can run as fast as you want; you can be as disciplined and frantic as you can; you can be totally determined to achieve your goal but you will still NEVER arrive because it’s the wrong road. On the other hand, if you are on the RIGHT road toward your goal, you can walk as slowly as you want, you can take baby steps, you can even crawl and still achieve your destination. Depending on how fast you move forward it will take longer or faster to reach your goal, but it is certain that you will reach it one day because you are on the right road. On the other hand, when you’re on the WRONG route you will just never get there, no matter what.

For the flies at the window buzzing around and sticking to the glass was such a wrong path with no way out. Flies do that because they have a tiny brain and they can’t think.

For me trying to find a dentist in Switzerland who could do what I needed was the wrong path. Flying to Bulgaria – something I would never have dreamed of in my wildest dreams – turned out to be the fastest route to my desired goal.

Too many overweight women are falling for the SHINY OBJECT that promises them how quickly they can lose their weight. They look at all the nice before/after images and are instantly hooked, although they have no idea whether the other woman on that picture could keep her weight off or not. All they see is an image of a single moment – one second in another woman’s life – and pull out their credit card. They are suffering from the shiny object syndrome. In 99% of the time they are on the WRONG route that has no end.

The question now is, are you a fly at the window that is frantically trying to get to the other side of the glass?

Are you prejudiced because I’m not from the USA and because there is no hype on my website?

Are you falling for shiny objects?

Are you on the wrong path that turns out to be a dead end?

Or can you finally open up your mind and ask yourself, “What if there is another, faster, better and healthier solution I just never took into consideration?”

“What IF…?” 

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

 

 

 

 

If you’re struggling with losing weight, you’re doing something wrong…

If you’re struggling with losing weight, you’re doing something wrong…

“Sure,” you may respond, “I eat too much of the wrong food and I don’t exercise enough. That’s what I’m doing wrong.” 

But what if you eat mainly healthy and not really a lot? What if you exercise regularly and don’t lose weight significantly? 

Actually, with my title I meant something completely different. I’m not talking about things like “Eat this, not that,” or “Eat less and exercise more.” I’m not talking about tactics and methods. I’m talking about a particular mindset

One of the things I gained more clarity on in my life was the nature of “struggling” per se, and I remember especially two occurrences in my life when I really struggled a lot – and for years. The first big struggle was regarding my weight. This was a story going on for most of my childhood into my late twenties. Then, somehow, the struggle stopped – I just didn’t care about my weight any longer and shifted my focus onto my life. Instead of working on my weight, I was working on my happiness and self-worth. And the rest is history.

The second time I really struggled a lot was with my self-growth business in the 1980s. I was a single mom and I wanted to be with my daughter as much as possible. So I decided to build my own home-based coaching, seminar, and public speaking business. I did all right from the get go and we were lucky enough to always have some food on the table. And though some months I couldn’t pay my bills, I could always pay them the next month. However, I was never able to save any money for my daughter’s college or buy some special things like new furniture, a car, or nice clothes. It was just enough for what we really needed. And I was trying really, really hard.

Then, one day, I was very sick and very desperate. I had just found out that the women’s magazine I did many workshops for paid me less than other speakers and seminar leaders, although my seminars had the best and highest rates and always sold best, as they had told me.

I was a single mom and needed more money. The organizer became my best friend back then and she knew my situation. So she also knew that I depended on the magazine she was working for. When I found out that she had not told me the truth about my fee, I felt being taken advantage of. It was very frustrating to see that I was making that magazine so much money while I was doing all that work for them but was still struggling financially. It was very sad to realize that my best friend had lied to me.

So while lying in bed with high fever, I prayed and asked for a solution. I was too weak to do something, so I literally surrendered my problem.

Literally, within seconds, I was given a whole 9-month weight loss program with all the topics, with the content for a whole book and five CD’s. That was a weight loss program I had never seen before with many new ideas never heard of before – certainly not regarding weight loss. It was the total opposite of what other weight loss coaches offered. I even received the entire marketing concept. It was all there before my inner eyes at once. And all I had to do was get up and go to work.

The next morning, the fever was gone and I began writing the book. A few months later, I had finished that book, five CD’s, the curriculum and papers of a whole 9-month weight loss program, a workbook, and a marketing strategy, without ever having learned anything about marketing. That turned out to be one of the most successful marketing strategies ever.

Within only two weeks of the launch, all my 9-month workshops were filled. I only wanted to do two or three workshops, but I ended up doing twelve, the absolute maximum I could handle. But that was not enough. In fact, within four more weeks, I filled not only more workshops than I had planned to do…I filled them for another 9 months and was booked solid for the next two years.

That was proof to me that I had found something very special. 

The interesting thing is that it took other coaches like Marianne Williamson, Geneen Roth, and Jon Gabriel more than a decade to come up with similar solutions, but all of them only offer parts of what I have found. What I was allowed to “download” from the Universe back then is still true today and I still teach these same principles in all of my workshops, seminars, and programs. And I am very surprised that I am still one of very few holistic weight loss coaches who can do that kind of work.

Now that I am writing all this down, – actually it’s the first time that I even share this with my readers – it even sounds to me like a miracle. And you know what? I think it was a miracle that happened that day and the years that followed. It was an enormous gift from God, not only to me, but to all of my clients also who had previously struggled with their weight and went from frustrating diet to diet. And now it can be a gift for you as well, if you are open and ready to learn a new way of weight loss make that one mindset shift.

Over the years, over 10,000 people (mostly women) have attended my workshops and seminars. Many had the same miraculous results I had with my weight loss. Others had to go through a different process than I had to in order to reach their weight goals. Sometimes, only a weekend workshop was all they needed for them to find the real cause and make the necessary shift from fat to slim. Others needed several months to find their real, underlying causes. But once they found it, losing weight became easier than ever before, really effortless, actually.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Because I know that so many women have been struggling with their weight for years and just don’t seem to be able to find a way to lose their weight for good. They are all on a completely wrong route. With a small mindset shift and a new weight loss strategy, their weight struggle could end almost instantly.

Let me say that again.

With a small mindset shift and a new weight loss strategy, your weight struggle could end almost instantly.

What you must realize is that struggling in itself is a sign that you’re on the wrong path. As soon as you’re on the right path, the struggle ends and you can begin to see results – lasting results.

Struggling in itself is a sign that you’re on the wrong path. 

For as long as you are struggling, you are literally holding on to what you don’t want: your excess weight. That way, it is impossible for you to get rid off those extra pounds.

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You see, what happened to me when I lost weight is that I had eliminated the causes of my weight issues – unknowingly, though. Yet, it worked. This is proof to me that this is the right path. It works whether or not you do it consciously, and whether or not you believe in the method. Once the cause has been transformed or eliminated, your body no longer needs to hold on to its extra fat. Because your extra fat is just a symptom. It’s your body trying to alert you of a problem. It’s your body’s way to communicate with you that there is something wrong you should take care of.  Your body has only one way of communicating with your: through symptoms. And once the cause is gone, the body doesn’t need to talk to you through extra fat any longer.

Unfortunately, by struggling with your weight you are exceeding the weight loss process, and for many this lasts a lifetime. 

As long as you’re focusing on one or two methods, such as a diet and an exercise plan, you tend to expect too much of these tactics and disappointment is almost certain. You are constantly trying and going from diet to diet. On top of that you’re regularly weighing yourself, another way of keeping your current weight. That way, you can’t let go so easily. But it’s exactly the letting go that is a very important part of your weight loss process. Once you have let go and found the right solution, the struggle stops and losing weight becomes quite easy, very often even effortless.

It’s the letting go that is a very important part of your weight loss process.

Once you have let go and found the right solution, the struggle stops and losing weight becomes quite easy, very often even effortless.

The simplest trick is to let go. This requires a mindset shift.

Just let go! Let go of your expectations regarding how quickly your body needs to lose weight. Let go of your diet mentality. Let go of your quick-fix mentality. Let go of the belief that you knew how to lose weight better than your body does. 

Just let go!!!

Happy slimming. 

 

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss